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thank God for tonight's prayer meet! thank God for the opportunity! my FIRST TIME playing drums throughout for prayer meet. i had never tried that before. for prayer meet, i at most only play the first song and the rest of the time i will be praying instead of playing. haha!
when i know that i might have to play throughout for prayer meet, i was quite excited but scared at the same time. excited becoz it's something i hope for some day, scared becoz for skill-wise, i would think that i'm still not up to that standard! but well, if God give me the opportunity to drum for Him, He will definitely use me and anoint me! :)
from the start of worship practise to the time before the actual worship and prayer time, i thought i should be feeling nervous, that's wat i kept telling myself i should be worried, i should be nervous. BUT deep down in my heart, i wasn't feeling so, i'm actually feeling quite normal. in fact i felt much more peaceful than the other time (about 2 weeks ago) when i had to play for baptism. haha! anyway, as i'm drumming i kept telling God, "God, help me. teach me wat i should play. lead and guide me!" at first, i was abit tensed up, but slowly i juz let God take control! i wasn't sure wat i'm playing, or wat i should play. so i juz played, and i really felt the feeling of worshipping with drums, and how the holy spirit leads. :)
i'm really thankful for the opportunity and having the privilege to serve in prayer meet. it's actually one of my goals that i've set for my serving in drums. :) i'm glad and thank god for bringing me to another level! :) and thanks to all who had been giving me lots of encouragement in my serving! :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Encouraged by God!
thank God for affirming my serving in drums once again! :)
for the past few weeks, when project deadlines are near, exams juz round the corner, i started to feel stressed. not juz feeling stressed in school work, but i was also feeling quite stressful when serving in drums too. i dunno why, but juz felt that when i'm playing the drums, i felt very restricted, the feel wasn't really right. and i started to have lots of negative thoughts, and also lose my confidence in playing drums. but like what i've shared before in one of my previous post, the more you want to try to get away from serving, the more you get to serve.
i was serving for baptism service yesterday and i felt really very nervous. actually there's nothing to be nervous about, but i dunno why i juz felt so. haha. and i remember joshua telling me something like, juz imagine that you're the only one left in the world to worship with drums, how or what are you going to play to worship the Lord? and i felt that this is an interesting question. :) this question came to my mind again when preparing for 2040 service worship today.
the feedback given during 2040 worship debrief was that the worship today on the whole was good. the way i played the drums had a different feel, and the feel was good. and it's not just me, even the way shumin led worship today was different. :) and i believe that each and every one of us can definitely make a difference for God! :)
anyway, i thank God for the encouragement He gave me through many people for my serving in both yesterday's baptism service and today's 2040 service. and i was reminded that it's not a matter of how skillful you are, even though skills are important too, but most importantly, we need to serve with the right heart! :) ultimately, the one in control is not us, but God. and we are not serving for our own glory, but God's glory! :)
for the past few weeks, when project deadlines are near, exams juz round the corner, i started to feel stressed. not juz feeling stressed in school work, but i was also feeling quite stressful when serving in drums too. i dunno why, but juz felt that when i'm playing the drums, i felt very restricted, the feel wasn't really right. and i started to have lots of negative thoughts, and also lose my confidence in playing drums. but like what i've shared before in one of my previous post, the more you want to try to get away from serving, the more you get to serve.
i was serving for baptism service yesterday and i felt really very nervous. actually there's nothing to be nervous about, but i dunno why i juz felt so. haha. and i remember joshua telling me something like, juz imagine that you're the only one left in the world to worship with drums, how or what are you going to play to worship the Lord? and i felt that this is an interesting question. :) this question came to my mind again when preparing for 2040 service worship today.
the feedback given during 2040 worship debrief was that the worship today on the whole was good. the way i played the drums had a different feel, and the feel was good. and it's not just me, even the way shumin led worship today was different. :) and i believe that each and every one of us can definitely make a difference for God! :)
anyway, i thank God for the encouragement He gave me through many people for my serving in both yesterday's baptism service and today's 2040 service. and i was reminded that it's not a matter of how skillful you are, even though skills are important too, but most importantly, we need to serve with the right heart! :) ultimately, the one in control is not us, but God. and we are not serving for our own glory, but God's glory! :)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Lord, Thank You!
i made a simple prayer while travelling to prayer meet from school today. i told God that i want to hear Him tonight. i want to hear Him speak to me LOUDLY and CLEARLY. indeed, He did! :)
before the start of prayer meet, i received a gift from angie. and i read the words on it. it says "Capable Individual, Nothing Discourages You". and i smiled! thanks angie, your gift came in timely! :) then when i saw the sermon topic, i smiled again! the topic is "Don't be afraid, God is with you!" that's not all, throughout the whole session, the message is so clear to me! don't be afraid... do not fear... be bold... be strong... be courageous... God is always with you!! :) and there's no reason for me to ask God why didnt He speak to me when He spoke so loudly and clearly to me! :)
another thing is, i really thank God for my cell leader, cheri. there's just too many things which allow me to thank God for her. she really helped and taught me alot things. be it my serving, my life, my family, etc. all i would say is, it's in all aspects of my life. thank you cheri for always being there when i needed someone! :)
there's just too many things that we could thank God for. but it's a matter of whether did we notice or not. sometimes we would just thank God for great and wonderful things that happen in our life, and we tend to forget about the small little blessings God has given us EACH DAY! let's all learn to count our blessings each day, and be alert to notice all the big and small blessings God has given us each day! :)
Experience how AMAZING and REAL our Father is! :)
before the start of prayer meet, i received a gift from angie. and i read the words on it. it says "Capable Individual, Nothing Discourages You". and i smiled! thanks angie, your gift came in timely! :) then when i saw the sermon topic, i smiled again! the topic is "Don't be afraid, God is with you!" that's not all, throughout the whole session, the message is so clear to me! don't be afraid... do not fear... be bold... be strong... be courageous... God is always with you!! :) and there's no reason for me to ask God why didnt He speak to me when He spoke so loudly and clearly to me! :)
another thing is, i really thank God for my cell leader, cheri. there's just too many things which allow me to thank God for her. she really helped and taught me alot things. be it my serving, my life, my family, etc. all i would say is, it's in all aspects of my life. thank you cheri for always being there when i needed someone! :)
there's just too many things that we could thank God for. but it's a matter of whether did we notice or not. sometimes we would just thank God for great and wonderful things that happen in our life, and we tend to forget about the small little blessings God has given us EACH DAY! let's all learn to count our blessings each day, and be alert to notice all the big and small blessings God has given us each day! :)
Experience how AMAZING and REAL our Father is! :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Amazed!
i just check my result for my assignment 1 of my computer networking module (which is my killer module of the sem!). and when i saw my result i was super super shocked! the result is so unbelieveable!!! during my assignment evaluation few weeks ago, my tutor said there are some requirements not implemented. and from the checklist, i tried to count the marks given, and i think i'm only able to get a borderline pass. but when i saw the marks i obtained, the first thought that came to me is, it's all given by God! the max mark is 100, and under the marks obtained, i saw 90! God is GOOD!! :)
few days ago, i was thinking if i should go for the batam mission trip. there isn't really a very strong reason that stop me from going, but there isn't any strong reason which makes me want to go either. so i started to ask God for an answer if i should go. but as you know, normally there would not be any clear answer given. so on friday, i made a challenge with God. i told Him that if He really wants me to go, then let me have $50 cash on saturday so i could pay for the trip. as you would have guess so, i didnt have enough cash on saturday to pay. in fact, instead of cash coming in, cash kept going out. but deep in me, i know that even if i dun have $50 on saturday, it doesnt means that God dun want me to go.
to cut the long story short, i chose to do what is pleasing to God. learning to obey and do the right thing. so on sunday i submitted the form and paid for the trip. i thought things will juz end there, but that's not the end. yesterday night, when i reached home, my dad return me the amount of money which i helped him to pay for his bill previously, and on top of that, he gave me an ADDITIONAL $50. i asked him how come? then he just reply me give you then you just take lor, why must have reason one meh.
so what more can i say? i'm totally amazed by God! He's so wonderful and amazing! it's really great to experience God each day, and counting His blessings everyday! :)
few days ago, i was thinking if i should go for the batam mission trip. there isn't really a very strong reason that stop me from going, but there isn't any strong reason which makes me want to go either. so i started to ask God for an answer if i should go. but as you know, normally there would not be any clear answer given. so on friday, i made a challenge with God. i told Him that if He really wants me to go, then let me have $50 cash on saturday so i could pay for the trip. as you would have guess so, i didnt have enough cash on saturday to pay. in fact, instead of cash coming in, cash kept going out. but deep in me, i know that even if i dun have $50 on saturday, it doesnt means that God dun want me to go.
to cut the long story short, i chose to do what is pleasing to God. learning to obey and do the right thing. so on sunday i submitted the form and paid for the trip. i thought things will juz end there, but that's not the end. yesterday night, when i reached home, my dad return me the amount of money which i helped him to pay for his bill previously, and on top of that, he gave me an ADDITIONAL $50. i asked him how come? then he just reply me give you then you just take lor, why must have reason one meh.
so what more can i say? i'm totally amazed by God! He's so wonderful and amazing! it's really great to experience God each day, and counting His blessings everyday! :)
Friday, September 26, 2008
你的最爱 - 赞美之泉
在你光中，带着盼望
你领我出黑暗入光明
张开双臂，带我回家
我属于你，是你的最爱
天父拥抱我
你爱的双臂使我再一次
成为爱中的孩子
当你拥抱我
我可以自由，活出你旨意
天父我永远属你，你的最爱
A child of light, a child of hope.
Adopted from darkness into life.
With open arms, You welcome home.
I am your child, You call me as your own.
Father, hold me, in your arms of love
Where I'm safe to be, a litte child who's made for love.
When you hold me, I am free to be
Who I'm meant to be.
Father, I'm your child, your own, your beloved.
你领我出黑暗入光明
张开双臂，带我回家
我属于你，是你的最爱
天父拥抱我
你爱的双臂使我再一次
成为爱中的孩子
当你拥抱我
我可以自由，活出你旨意
天父我永远属你，你的最爱
A child of light, a child of hope.
Adopted from darkness into life.
With open arms, You welcome home.
I am your child, You call me as your own.
Father, hold me, in your arms of love
Where I'm safe to be, a litte child who's made for love.
When you hold me, I am free to be
Who I'm meant to be.
Father, I'm your child, your own, your beloved.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Reassurance
thank God for assuring me once again that He's there for me! He listens and had heard my prayers! :)
i was feeling super demoralized and upset when i was travelling to church for prayer meet after my project meeting. my friend and i spent a whole afternoon trying to figure out how we are going to implement our program, but we totally got no idea! so we went to seek our tutor for help, and manage to clarify some doubts and had a better concept of how the program should work. and we continue trying out again, but the program just dun work! and we got more n more demoralize, and even thought of juz giving up this project! i asked God "why?, why is it that we cant get our project done? why arent You helping me?". even though i was questioning God, deep down in my heart i felt a sense of peace, knowing that this project will be completed somehow. but i still feel very sad. :(
God reminded me during prayer meet, it's a test on faith! how He used to bring me through all my programming projects, He will do the same for this project, and for everything! and He reminded me of what i received this morning on the mrt. normally when we're on train we dun really hold on to the poles but rather we will try to balance ourselves. but when balancing by ourselves, we tend to use much more strength to keep our balance. sometimes we juz can't stand firm and eventually we still have to hold on to the pole. and when we hold on to the pole, we actually dun really need much strength and energy to keep our balance. God is just like the pole. if we hold on to Him, we will not fall or lose our balance. and we are able to stand firm no matter how tough the journey is. all we have to do is to hold on to Him, and everything will be alright! :)
as i was travelling to school, i prayed. i was having many thoughts, many uncertainties, but i just told God that i hope to get a hug from Him. all i want is just a hug filled with encouragement and love from Him and it'll be enough. i told Him that i hope to get a hug tonight during prayer meet! even though i wasnt sure if i will get it, i kept telling Him, Lord, just a hug from you, and it's enough! let me feel your hug tonight! :) and He heard what i said. almost throughout the prayer meet, the emphasis is on receiving hug from God and God's love! and that's not all! juz now as i was sharing with huilin, she told me, she prayed for me. her prayer is, "God, hug her tighter!!". i was really surprised when she told me that! :)
i cried again during the song (阿爸天父). actually since sunday, i'm wondering if we will sing this song again during prayer meet. somehow i just feel that we will. and i juz got the feeling that i will cry again if this song is to be sang in prayer meet. indeed, i cried. but i felt God's love and joy filling me after crying! :)
God didnt stop working after prayer meet. i was chatting with chuan on msn, sharing with her about my project thing. and she said this prayer for me on msn, "i pray for Daddy to bring people to help you and to let u understand the codes and able to come out with the correct codes for the program to work!". and i said amen! God listens to it! even it's juz a short prayer made through msn!
before that i was chatting with another fren asking if he did the progam before. he said he did before but is using another programming language. but shortly after chuan said the prayer, this friend of mine msn me "u wan i try to help u"! i was shocked! and that's not all! i started doing my project again bit by bit, searching for suitable codes and things juz get working bit by bit! and the most interesting thing is i actually tried out some thing in school and it juz don't work! but i tried doing the same thing again and it worked perfectly! i was really amazed by God! :)
what can i do? but to THANK YOU! thank You for tonight's prayer meet. thank You for reassuring me, and thank You for overwhelming me with Your love! btw, this is what i told God during prayer meet, let me be overwhelm by Your love! :)
i was feeling super demoralized and upset when i was travelling to church for prayer meet after my project meeting. my friend and i spent a whole afternoon trying to figure out how we are going to implement our program, but we totally got no idea! so we went to seek our tutor for help, and manage to clarify some doubts and had a better concept of how the program should work. and we continue trying out again, but the program just dun work! and we got more n more demoralize, and even thought of juz giving up this project! i asked God "why?, why is it that we cant get our project done? why arent You helping me?". even though i was questioning God, deep down in my heart i felt a sense of peace, knowing that this project will be completed somehow. but i still feel very sad. :(
God reminded me during prayer meet, it's a test on faith! how He used to bring me through all my programming projects, He will do the same for this project, and for everything! and He reminded me of what i received this morning on the mrt. normally when we're on train we dun really hold on to the poles but rather we will try to balance ourselves. but when balancing by ourselves, we tend to use much more strength to keep our balance. sometimes we juz can't stand firm and eventually we still have to hold on to the pole. and when we hold on to the pole, we actually dun really need much strength and energy to keep our balance. God is just like the pole. if we hold on to Him, we will not fall or lose our balance. and we are able to stand firm no matter how tough the journey is. all we have to do is to hold on to Him, and everything will be alright! :)
as i was travelling to school, i prayed. i was having many thoughts, many uncertainties, but i just told God that i hope to get a hug from Him. all i want is just a hug filled with encouragement and love from Him and it'll be enough. i told Him that i hope to get a hug tonight during prayer meet! even though i wasnt sure if i will get it, i kept telling Him, Lord, just a hug from you, and it's enough! let me feel your hug tonight! :) and He heard what i said. almost throughout the prayer meet, the emphasis is on receiving hug from God and God's love! and that's not all! juz now as i was sharing with huilin, she told me, she prayed for me. her prayer is, "God, hug her tighter!!". i was really surprised when she told me that! :)
i cried again during the song (阿爸天父). actually since sunday, i'm wondering if we will sing this song again during prayer meet. somehow i just feel that we will. and i juz got the feeling that i will cry again if this song is to be sang in prayer meet. indeed, i cried. but i felt God's love and joy filling me after crying! :)
God didnt stop working after prayer meet. i was chatting with chuan on msn, sharing with her about my project thing. and she said this prayer for me on msn, "i pray for Daddy to bring people to help you and to let u understand the codes and able to come out with the correct codes for the program to work!". and i said amen! God listens to it! even it's juz a short prayer made through msn!
before that i was chatting with another fren asking if he did the progam before. he said he did before but is using another programming language. but shortly after chuan said the prayer, this friend of mine msn me "u wan i try to help u"! i was shocked! and that's not all! i started doing my project again bit by bit, searching for suitable codes and things juz get working bit by bit! and the most interesting thing is i actually tried out some thing in school and it juz don't work! but i tried doing the same thing again and it worked perfectly! i was really amazed by God! :)
what can i do? but to THANK YOU! thank You for tonight's prayer meet. thank You for reassuring me, and thank You for overwhelming me with Your love! btw, this is what i told God during prayer meet, let me be overwhelm by Your love! :)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
God's Reminder
thank God for sustaining me throughout the past few weeks and reminding me each day that His grace is sufficient for me! :)
as workload gets heavier with more projects, assignments and tests coming up, i started to feel stress and afraid that i cant cope. i started to think of getting away from all things and juz wanted to spend all my time to finish my work. but the more i wan to get away from things, the more things i got! anyway, this kind of things happen most of the time. the more u dun want, the more u get it!
so when i was on my way to school one day, god reminded me through the song 祷告 that He will provide me the strength i need each day and His grace is sufficient for me! from that day till now, i'm still being reminded of the same thing EVERY DAY, especially when i thought of the tons of things i have to do and not having enough time to complete! :)
God touched my heart during worship today. juz at the starting first few lines of the new song (阿爸天父 by 赞美之泉), tears filled by eyes. when it came to this line of the chorus (打开心门，领受你大爱) i started crying! and i just cant stop crying until the next song! i feel God's presence and know that He is working in me! :)
if you had read my post previously, you will know that i googled "jesus i'm afraid" before. God spoke to me clearly today. He reminded me once again tt He will not leave me nor forsake me! and NOT TO BE AFRAID! yes! He knows what i'm thinking about, and what i really need! :)
though my travelling time to school and back home is long, but honestly i enjoyed it! becoz i enjoyed my conversations with God! :) the more i talk to Him, the more secured i feel. i know i'm growing up in Him, and my faith is growing! and there is nothing i need to be afraid of! All things are possible in Him! :)
as workload gets heavier with more projects, assignments and tests coming up, i started to feel stress and afraid that i cant cope. i started to think of getting away from all things and juz wanted to spend all my time to finish my work. but the more i wan to get away from things, the more things i got! anyway, this kind of things happen most of the time. the more u dun want, the more u get it!
so when i was on my way to school one day, god reminded me through the song 祷告 that He will provide me the strength i need each day and His grace is sufficient for me! from that day till now, i'm still being reminded of the same thing EVERY DAY, especially when i thought of the tons of things i have to do and not having enough time to complete! :)
God touched my heart during worship today. juz at the starting first few lines of the new song (阿爸天父 by 赞美之泉), tears filled by eyes. when it came to this line of the chorus (打开心门，领受你大爱) i started crying! and i just cant stop crying until the next song! i feel God's presence and know that He is working in me! :)
if you had read my post previously, you will know that i googled "jesus i'm afraid" before. God spoke to me clearly today. He reminded me once again tt He will not leave me nor forsake me! and NOT TO BE AFRAID! yes! He knows what i'm thinking about, and what i really need! :)
though my travelling time to school and back home is long, but honestly i enjoyed it! becoz i enjoyed my conversations with God! :) the more i talk to Him, the more secured i feel. i know i'm growing up in Him, and my faith is growing! and there is nothing i need to be afraid of! All things are possible in Him! :)
Sunday, September 07, 2008
祷告 - 讚美之泉
祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭 你心意对我重要
祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭 你心意对我重要
祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Jesus Goes With Me (I'm Not Afraid) - Lamar Campbell
I'm not afraid anymore, Jesus goes with me
I'm not ashamed anymore, His blood has set me free
I never worry when Jesus goes with me everything's ok
When I'm burdened He's there
When I'm lonely He's there
Through disappointments He's there
Even in sadness He's there
I never worry when Jesus goes with me everything's ok
So glad, that, Jesus goes with me
I'm glad about it, yes, Jesus goes with
Glad, I'm glad, Jesus goes with me
i googled "jesus i'm afraid" and i saw the lyrics of this song. wanted to find the song, but i cant find it. anyway, i was ministered when i read the lyrics. it was a reminder to me that He's always there no matter where i am, what i do, how i feel and everything will be alright! :)
recently, god is constantly reminding me that i will never walk alone, for He is ALWAYS with me! well, it's time for me to register it in my heart that He's there for me AT ALL TIMES! and also finding my security in HIM!
I'm not ashamed anymore, His blood has set me free
I never worry when Jesus goes with me everything's ok
When I'm burdened He's there
When I'm lonely He's there
Through disappointments He's there
Even in sadness He's there
I never worry when Jesus goes with me everything's ok
So glad, that, Jesus goes with me
I'm glad about it, yes, Jesus goes with
Glad, I'm glad, Jesus goes with me
i googled "jesus i'm afraid" and i saw the lyrics of this song. wanted to find the song, but i cant find it. anyway, i was ministered when i read the lyrics. it was a reminder to me that He's always there no matter where i am, what i do, how i feel and everything will be alright! :)
recently, god is constantly reminding me that i will never walk alone, for He is ALWAYS with me! well, it's time for me to register it in my heart that He's there for me AT ALL TIMES! and also finding my security in HIM!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
From Two Different Aspects
juz as i finish checking my mails, i saw this news title or whatever it's called on yahoo homepage.
"The worst is yet to come"
at that moment, i stunt for a while. it looks so familiar yet, it's NOT! i remembered wat we always proclaim during prayer meet, "The best is yet to come"! and now i saw the direct opposite of it.
i started thinking about this two phrases. and it reminded me that no matter wat situation i'm facing, it's still not that bad because there might be worst things coming up! on the other hand, if i feel that i'm really in a very jialat situation, i can look forward to the better things that's ahead waiting for me! :)
so no matter wat situation it is, looking at it from these 2 aspects, there's no reason that we can't give thanks in everything! so just learn to give thanks that we are not facing things that could have been worse, and knowing that God's blessings is just ahead waiting for us! :)
"The worst is yet to come"
at that moment, i stunt for a while. it looks so familiar yet, it's NOT! i remembered wat we always proclaim during prayer meet, "The best is yet to come"! and now i saw the direct opposite of it.
i started thinking about this two phrases. and it reminded me that no matter wat situation i'm facing, it's still not that bad because there might be worst things coming up! on the other hand, if i feel that i'm really in a very jialat situation, i can look forward to the better things that's ahead waiting for me! :)
so no matter wat situation it is, looking at it from these 2 aspects, there's no reason that we can't give thanks in everything! so just learn to give thanks that we are not facing things that could have been worse, and knowing that God's blessings is just ahead waiting for us! :)
Monday, August 18, 2008
As the New Phase Begins...
thank god for everything! i got ALL the modules i bidded for... i got ALL the tutorial slots i wanted... there are friends who attend lectures with me, friends who are in the same tutorial class as me too! :)
actually i felt quite tired, which i also dunno what's the main reason behind it. probably is mentally very tired. probably is i'm still trying to adjust back to study life, with tons and tons of readings, assignments, tutorials, exams, etc... in fact, i think i'm kind of afraid that i cant cope, and subconsciously i think i felt stress.
recently i just felt that there's something not very right in my life, which others might not have noticed. probably there is nothing very wrong, but somehow juz felt that something is not very right somewhere. well, shall not say more about it.
anyway, no matter what it is, i juz got to trust that God won't give me things i can't bear, and He will always be with me to guide and lead me through anything and everything! Lord, thank you!
actually i felt quite tired, which i also dunno what's the main reason behind it. probably is mentally very tired. probably is i'm still trying to adjust back to study life, with tons and tons of readings, assignments, tutorials, exams, etc... in fact, i think i'm kind of afraid that i cant cope, and subconsciously i think i felt stress.
recently i just felt that there's something not very right in my life, which others might not have noticed. probably there is nothing very wrong, but somehow juz felt that something is not very right somewhere. well, shall not say more about it.
anyway, no matter what it is, i juz got to trust that God won't give me things i can't bear, and He will always be with me to guide and lead me through anything and everything! Lord, thank you!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Journey
It’s a long long journey
Till I know where I’m supposed to be
It’s a long long journey
And I don’t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I’ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you’ll be standing by my side
It’s a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It’s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you... to you
Till I know where I’m supposed to be
It’s a long long journey
And I don’t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I’ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you’ll be standing by my side
It’s a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It’s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you... to you
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Amazing Love
God's love is so so amazing!! and He is so real to me!
For the past 1 - 2 weeks, i juz felt that God is juz right beside me, listening to me, and telling me wat i should do. haha, he is so real that i was quite shocked and did not know exactly how i should respond to him. at times, he prompted me to do something, but i juz tried to delay or not do it due to the lack of courage, afraid of awkwardness, and thinking too much as to how others will think. but sometimes the prompting is juz so strong that it's a must for me to do it, but i really dunno how to, so i juz can pray to god to open the doors and lead me thru. and in the end, things juz turn out to be so perfect, that i was wondering why should i drag so long to do something! haha.
guess god is training me to be more sensitive to him. learning how to listen and obey him, differentiating wat is from him, and building up my courage to juz do the right thing. :) and it's when u complete all the things god wants u to do, then u will be able to see the most perfect picture, and feel the real peace and joy from the bottom of ur heart!
anyway, i think there is still something i have to do, but have not done it yet. i still owe someone (u know who u are) a prayer. please wait for a little while more ok? i will do it soon! trust me! hahaha, the prompting is still there, and god is waiting for me to do it! haha, well.. i will pray for more courage and the opportunity to do it! :)
For the past 1 - 2 weeks, i juz felt that God is juz right beside me, listening to me, and telling me wat i should do. haha, he is so real that i was quite shocked and did not know exactly how i should respond to him. at times, he prompted me to do something, but i juz tried to delay or not do it due to the lack of courage, afraid of awkwardness, and thinking too much as to how others will think. but sometimes the prompting is juz so strong that it's a must for me to do it, but i really dunno how to, so i juz can pray to god to open the doors and lead me thru. and in the end, things juz turn out to be so perfect, that i was wondering why should i drag so long to do something! haha.
guess god is training me to be more sensitive to him. learning how to listen and obey him, differentiating wat is from him, and building up my courage to juz do the right thing. :) and it's when u complete all the things god wants u to do, then u will be able to see the most perfect picture, and feel the real peace and joy from the bottom of ur heart!
anyway, i think there is still something i have to do, but have not done it yet. i still owe someone (u know who u are) a prayer. please wait for a little while more ok? i will do it soon! trust me! hahaha, the prompting is still there, and god is waiting for me to do it! haha, well.. i will pray for more courage and the opportunity to do it! :)
Monday, July 14, 2008
He Listens and Answers
i really thank god for today. there's something which god prompted me to do for quite a long time, but i do not have the courage to do it.. until today! well, and things aren't as bad as wat i thought it might be.. and this is a reminder to me. dun always let my thoughts stop me from doing something god wants me to do.
well, i'm really very happy today. throughout the day, i thought of wat had happen today and the past few days, and i really give thanks to him for all that he had done for me. it just shows me how much he loves me and he listens to wat i told him. i might be complaining, grumbling or even doubting him, but he still shows me that he's there for me. :)
juz as i thought of doing things my own ways, he stops me by interrupting what i had firmly decided to do. and it juz seem like he is playing a joke on me. but well deep down in my heart, i know he is not playing a joke on me, but rather he is telling me that this is not the right way to do things. in a week, it happened quite a few times.. opps.. haha.. i'm juz being too rebellious.. :p
anyway, really thank god for today. he answered many of my prayers! :)
well, i'm really very happy today. throughout the day, i thought of wat had happen today and the past few days, and i really give thanks to him for all that he had done for me. it just shows me how much he loves me and he listens to wat i told him. i might be complaining, grumbling or even doubting him, but he still shows me that he's there for me. :)
juz as i thought of doing things my own ways, he stops me by interrupting what i had firmly decided to do. and it juz seem like he is playing a joke on me. but well deep down in my heart, i know he is not playing a joke on me, but rather he is telling me that this is not the right way to do things. in a week, it happened quite a few times.. opps.. haha.. i'm juz being too rebellious.. :p
anyway, really thank god for today. he answered many of my prayers! :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
他在乎 - 约书亚敬拜
祂在乎你的一切
世界忘记你，神却深爱着你
你无论犯了什么罪
都不能与祂爱隔绝
祂永远爱你，祂真的爱你
祂知道你所有孤单痛苦
祂也看见你每一个经历
你无论犯了什么罪
都不能与祂爱隔绝
祂为你行奇妙大事，就是现在
祂温柔的爱，医治破碎心灵
卸下你忧虑，释放你得自由
祂满有能力，使你生命更新
祂在乎你所有一切
耶稣祂在乎，我知道祂在乎你
耶稣祂真的在乎
耶稣祂真的在乎你和我
世界忘记你，神却深爱着你
你无论犯了什么罪
都不能与祂爱隔绝
祂永远爱你，祂真的爱你
祂知道你所有孤单痛苦
祂也看见你每一个经历
你无论犯了什么罪
都不能与祂爱隔绝
祂为你行奇妙大事，就是现在
祂温柔的爱，医治破碎心灵
卸下你忧虑，释放你得自由
祂满有能力，使你生命更新
祂在乎你所有一切
耶稣祂在乎，我知道祂在乎你
耶稣祂真的在乎
耶稣祂真的在乎你和我
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Child, I'm Always With You
thoughts.. postive thoughts? negative thoughts? many thoughts.. really many thoughts in mind recently.. it's very tiring! really very tired! :(
"I'm always with you!" - this is what God has been telling me very clearly recently..
though i tried to run away from Him, hide from Him, be rebellious and not listen to what He tells me.. He is still always there for me, listening to me, holding on to me, and loves me just as much.. even if it's things that i prayed and treated as a passing remark after praying, he still listened and answered them.
i doubted Him.. i don't really believe that He has heard all that i've told him. but yesterday during prayer meet, He told me clearly thru Rev Fucai that He heard my prayers! yes, He heard my prayers!!! :) anyway, there's alot more things i've received, and definitely have made quite a great impact to me. but well, i still need time to accept and digest them.. so, i'll have to continue praying and seek Him. :)
running away and hiding is definitely not the best way to solve any problems. it will make one feel more tired and helpless. the more i wanted to run away from serving, the more servings i got... and no matter how i wanted to siam, go one big round, it still comes back to me. haha, what to do? nothing but just obey Him and submit completely to Him!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9
"I'm always with you!" - this is what God has been telling me very clearly recently..
though i tried to run away from Him, hide from Him, be rebellious and not listen to what He tells me.. He is still always there for me, listening to me, holding on to me, and loves me just as much.. even if it's things that i prayed and treated as a passing remark after praying, he still listened and answered them.
i doubted Him.. i don't really believe that He has heard all that i've told him. but yesterday during prayer meet, He told me clearly thru Rev Fucai that He heard my prayers! yes, He heard my prayers!!! :) anyway, there's alot more things i've received, and definitely have made quite a great impact to me. but well, i still need time to accept and digest them.. so, i'll have to continue praying and seek Him. :)
running away and hiding is definitely not the best way to solve any problems. it will make one feel more tired and helpless. the more i wanted to run away from serving, the more servings i got... and no matter how i wanted to siam, go one big round, it still comes back to me. haha, what to do? nothing but just obey Him and submit completely to Him!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
你是如此爱我
你是如此爱我 爱到为我将你身体打破
你是如此爱我 默默地承担我所有的错
你是如此爱我 天涯到地极我无处可躲
你是如此爱我 爱到体恤我一切的软弱
我爱你因为你先爱我
你的爱像慈绳爱索
啊 我别无所求
因为拥有你的爱
这一生我已足够
it reminded me how much God loves me. there is no reason that i should hide from him, or run away from him. His love for us is indescribable!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
22nd Birthday
i prayed to god to let this day of mine be a special day to me.. i got no idea how my day would be, but juz got a feeling that god will have a special gift for me! :p
thank god for giving me a wonderful gift today! :) the gift god gave me is his love for me.. :) god reminded me how much he loves me, and showed me how much he loves me.. :)
actually i dun have any plans and i tot it might be that god wants me to have a good rest at home, and not always running out.. haha.. and i told god that if this is the case, then so be it ba.. though i hope that it won't be such a boring birthday..
god listens to my prayers.. he did not gave me a boring birthday.. god started off my day with receiving smses from many people such as my sec sch frenz, church frenz, colleagues, etc..
in the afternoon, went to meet angie, esther, and sarah at ps.. after that, we met chuan and deren for dinner at blk 3.. and i dunno why and how come, they started singing birthday song at the coffeeshop.. haha.. and after prayer meet, birthday song was sang once again, but this time round with many more people around! haha, i was kind of shocked and abit lost, dunno how to react.. but i really felt very blessed at that moment.. thanks alot guys! i'm really very happy and glad to know that i have many of you brothers and sisters by my side! :)
when i reached home, i got a surprise.. my dad actually bought a cake for me.. he even cook vermicelli (mian xian) with an egg for me! this is the first time i eat vermicelli with egg during my birthday after so many years of birthday! actually i was really quite touched and lost of words when i opened the door, and saw the house was in total darkness with a lighted candle on the cake on the dining table.. :)
i really thank god for today! :) thanks to all for your birthday wishes and blessings, and celebrating my birthday for me! i really thank god for all of you and it's all of you who made this day really special! i really felt blessed knowing that there are so many of you by my side who cares and loves me.. :)
thank god for giving me a wonderful gift today! :) the gift god gave me is his love for me.. :) god reminded me how much he loves me, and showed me how much he loves me.. :)
actually i dun have any plans and i tot it might be that god wants me to have a good rest at home, and not always running out.. haha.. and i told god that if this is the case, then so be it ba.. though i hope that it won't be such a boring birthday..
god listens to my prayers.. he did not gave me a boring birthday.. god started off my day with receiving smses from many people such as my sec sch frenz, church frenz, colleagues, etc..
in the afternoon, went to meet angie, esther, and sarah at ps.. after that, we met chuan and deren for dinner at blk 3.. and i dunno why and how come, they started singing birthday song at the coffeeshop.. haha.. and after prayer meet, birthday song was sang once again, but this time round with many more people around! haha, i was kind of shocked and abit lost, dunno how to react.. but i really felt very blessed at that moment.. thanks alot guys! i'm really very happy and glad to know that i have many of you brothers and sisters by my side! :)
when i reached home, i got a surprise.. my dad actually bought a cake for me.. he even cook vermicelli (mian xian) with an egg for me! this is the first time i eat vermicelli with egg during my birthday after so many years of birthday! actually i was really quite touched and lost of words when i opened the door, and saw the house was in total darkness with a lighted candle on the cake on the dining table.. :)
i really thank god for today! :) thanks to all for your birthday wishes and blessings, and celebrating my birthday for me! i really thank god for all of you and it's all of you who made this day really special! i really felt blessed knowing that there are so many of you by my side who cares and loves me.. :)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
God Never Fails
i'm feeling really tired these few days.. but was quite happy.. :)
God is good all the time! no matter how tired or how unhappy i am, he never fails to bring joy to me with tiny little stuffs.. :)
thank god i got back in touch with my primary school friend after 8 years!! she was one of my very good friends during my primary school days.. found her on facebook and we chatted on msn, and few days later, we happen to see each other when i was on my way to meet my friend for lunch.. all i can say is, it's god's timing! coz on that day i was hesitating if i should go out to meet my fren for lunch.. felt like staying at home, but somehow thoughts of going out was always in my mind.. so i decided to go meet my fren since it has been quite some time we last met..
when i saw my pri sch fren, i was quite afraid that there will be awkwardness between us.. thank god, there wasn't any.. we chatted as though we had been in contact all along.. and to my surprise, her mum still remembered me!! :)
thank god for putting many good and encouraging friends around me! when i need help, need someone to talk to, god never fails to provide one for me.. though at times, when i really wanted to find someone, there is no one, i know god wanted me to turn back to him.. and when i turn back to him, he comforted me, and filled me with his peace and joy.. :) it's tough at times, but he is my strength, and he wun give me things i cant bear!
dear lord, thank you for all the good works u had done for me.. though i might feel lonely at times, but i know i am not alone, coz u are always by my side.. i might feel that no one loves or cares about me, but i know u loved me for who i am, and you care for me.. :) lord, teach me to love and accept myself for who i am..
God is good all the time! no matter how tired or how unhappy i am, he never fails to bring joy to me with tiny little stuffs.. :)
thank god i got back in touch with my primary school friend after 8 years!! she was one of my very good friends during my primary school days.. found her on facebook and we chatted on msn, and few days later, we happen to see each other when i was on my way to meet my friend for lunch.. all i can say is, it's god's timing! coz on that day i was hesitating if i should go out to meet my fren for lunch.. felt like staying at home, but somehow thoughts of going out was always in my mind.. so i decided to go meet my fren since it has been quite some time we last met..
when i saw my pri sch fren, i was quite afraid that there will be awkwardness between us.. thank god, there wasn't any.. we chatted as though we had been in contact all along.. and to my surprise, her mum still remembered me!! :)
thank god for putting many good and encouraging friends around me! when i need help, need someone to talk to, god never fails to provide one for me.. though at times, when i really wanted to find someone, there is no one, i know god wanted me to turn back to him.. and when i turn back to him, he comforted me, and filled me with his peace and joy.. :) it's tough at times, but he is my strength, and he wun give me things i cant bear!
dear lord, thank you for all the good works u had done for me.. though i might feel lonely at times, but i know i am not alone, coz u are always by my side.. i might feel that no one loves or cares about me, but i know u loved me for who i am, and you care for me.. :) lord, teach me to love and accept myself for who i am..
Friday, May 09, 2008
生命过客
was watching tv and happen to hear this song.. and it got stuck in my head.. especially this phrase "一生要失败几回 才知道成功的意义"..
i juz cant really understand myself these few days.. my mind seems to be full of stuffs, and yet all things seem to be very blur.. there are many things which does make me happy, but yet i juz cant really be happy.. it's really very tiring.. i wonder if i can still hold on for how long.. :(
Lord, please help me find the real peace and joy in you!
i juz cant really understand myself these few days.. my mind seems to be full of stuffs, and yet all things seem to be very blur.. there are many things which does make me happy, but yet i juz cant really be happy.. it's really very tiring.. i wonder if i can still hold on for how long.. :(
Lord, please help me find the real peace and joy in you!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Be Joyful
to be joyful, despite of everything bothering u, u need to know that everything is in God's hands.. tt's wat chuan told me.. yup, I agree! :)
to have peace and joy in us, we must always remember that no matter what happens, be it good or bad, god is in control of everything.. yes, everything! No matter big or small.. even the smallest things he is in control too.. :)
well, when someone is not in a good mood, it does affect the people around not feel good too.. and it's the same thing when someone is feeling joyful.. it does spread the joy to others too.. :) therefore most of the times, i will choose to crap and joke around when i'm with people.. at least it helps to make people around me happy.. :) though at times i might not be feeling very good, but if people around me are happy, i think it might help me to be more happy too.. :)
anyway, even when i dun feel good, God is still very good to me! even though i might think that the whole world don't seem to understand me, but i know God understands me.. He knows us much better than we know ourselves.. i truly believe that God has the best plans for us, and He has the most perfect timing for everything! :) even when we are in sufferings, we still have to give thanks for it.. give thanks in all circumstances, for everything is within God's control! :)
to have peace and joy in us, we must always remember that no matter what happens, be it good or bad, god is in control of everything.. yes, everything! No matter big or small.. even the smallest things he is in control too.. :)
well, when someone is not in a good mood, it does affect the people around not feel good too.. and it's the same thing when someone is feeling joyful.. it does spread the joy to others too.. :) therefore most of the times, i will choose to crap and joke around when i'm with people.. at least it helps to make people around me happy.. :) though at times i might not be feeling very good, but if people around me are happy, i think it might help me to be more happy too.. :)
anyway, even when i dun feel good, God is still very good to me! even though i might think that the whole world don't seem to understand me, but i know God understands me.. He knows us much better than we know ourselves.. i truly believe that God has the best plans for us, and He has the most perfect timing for everything! :) even when we are in sufferings, we still have to give thanks for it.. give thanks in all circumstances, for everything is within God's control! :)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
You Were Born To Be Loved
saw this video from my friend's blog.. it really touches my heart especially at the last part when she sang "You were born to be loved".. it reminded me that god really loves us alot.. he loves us for who we are..
here's the link to the video.. :) http://youtube.com/watch?v=ntReE2n15bo
here's the full song (korean version).. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4vsiLM-NWfk
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人 - 以斯拉 http://podcast.blog.webs-tv.net/m/1805990>
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
在你的生命中 接受那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
在你的生命中 接受那丰盛的慈爱
创世之前开始的神 那丰盛的慈爱
借着我们的相遇 结出了果子
在这世界上 因着你宝贵的存在
真是带给我们 极大无比的喜乐
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
我感谢你 因我从来不曾知道
在你的眼里 我是何等地宝贵
从太初直到如今 创造宇宙万物的主
是何等深切爱我的灵魂
也感谢你 你让我感受到这伟大的爱
主已安排你在我生命里
以主耶稣基督的爱 更多来服事你
我也愿向世界传扬神的爱
你是为了接受主爱
来到这世上 传扬这份爱
在主奇妙计画里 把你栽种在这里
期待你结出美丽的果子
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
here's the link to the video.. :) http://youtube.com/watch?v=ntReE2n15bo
here's the full song (korean version).. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4vsiLM-NWfk
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人 - 以斯拉 http://podcast.blog.webs-tv.net/m/1805990>
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
在你的生命中 接受那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
在你的生命中 接受那丰盛的慈爱
创世之前开始的神 那丰盛的慈爱
借着我们的相遇 结出了果子
在这世界上 因着你宝贵的存在
真是带给我们 极大无比的喜乐
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
我感谢你 因我从来不曾知道
在你的眼里 我是何等地宝贵
从太初直到如今 创造宇宙万物的主
是何等深切爱我的灵魂
也感谢你 你让我感受到这伟大的爱
主已安排你在我生命里
以主耶稣基督的爱 更多来服事你
我也愿向世界传扬神的爱
你是为了接受主爱
来到这世上 传扬这份爱
在主奇妙计画里 把你栽种在这里
期待你结出美丽的果子
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
你是为了接受主爱被拣选的人
现在仍然接受 那丰盛的慈爱
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
True Friends :)
wat's wrong with me lately?! i really dunno!! :( thoughts juz came in and out, and i really felt quite tired and frustrated with myself..
feel like finding someone to talk to.. but dunno who to find.. pple might not be free, pple might not be willing.. many thoughts juz came in.. so i chose to online, and see if i can find anyone on msn to chat with.. probably you might think that it's a way of hiding up? but i think it's a way for me to learn to open up myself.. :) thank god for providing me someone to talk to.. i'm glad that i chatted with this friend of mine..
below is part of our chat:
friend: haha~ i really think nowadays u're getting more open abt ur feelings and ttz gd for u
me: wat makes u think so?
friend: hmmm i oso dont know.. juz a feeling
me: hahaha... i think it's a good sign for me
friend: yep yep.. give urself a pat on ur shoulder!
me: i think pple really need to be more open up to others too.. else it's difficult for ownself, it's difficult for others too
friend: yep, i agree.. and u're improving which is gd cox not everyone can do it
i was very happy to have this conversation with my friend.. at least i'm know i'm really taking out actions to do wat god is teaching me and wants me to do.. be open and true to him, to people and to myself.. i believe tt no matter wat happen, he wont give me things that i cant bear..
i think many of us have a lot of friends.. but not many of us will have a lot of TRUE friends.. i think true friends are really hard to find.. it's really not easy to find someone who you can comfortably talk to about ANYTHING, including ur problems.. someone who is willing to share with you about their life, their problems.. someone who is willing to listen to you.. someone who is willing to accompany when you needed someone to be by ur side.. even if they dun know wat to say at times, or nothing to say at times.. i feel that it's ok.. it's the company they have for u tt really counts.. true friends need not talk a lot at times, but will still be able to feel each other by hearts.. it's the hearts tt talk.. :)
thank god for putting many true friends by my side.. i felt so blessed! :) and i really appreciate and thank god for each and every one of you.. i pray tt our friendships will really continue to stay strong.. i know it's not easy to maintain a good relationship with people, but i will try my best to put in the best effort i can to keep and maintain each and every relationships i have.. god please help me! :)
feel like finding someone to talk to.. but dunno who to find.. pple might not be free, pple might not be willing.. many thoughts juz came in.. so i chose to online, and see if i can find anyone on msn to chat with.. probably you might think that it's a way of hiding up? but i think it's a way for me to learn to open up myself.. :) thank god for providing me someone to talk to.. i'm glad that i chatted with this friend of mine..
below is part of our chat:
friend: haha~ i really think nowadays u're getting more open abt ur feelings and ttz gd for u
me: wat makes u think so?
friend: hmmm i oso dont know.. juz a feeling
me: hahaha... i think it's a good sign for me
friend: yep yep.. give urself a pat on ur shoulder!
me: i think pple really need to be more open up to others too.. else it's difficult for ownself, it's difficult for others too
friend: yep, i agree.. and u're improving which is gd cox not everyone can do it
i was very happy to have this conversation with my friend.. at least i'm know i'm really taking out actions to do wat god is teaching me and wants me to do.. be open and true to him, to people and to myself.. i believe tt no matter wat happen, he wont give me things that i cant bear..
i think many of us have a lot of friends.. but not many of us will have a lot of TRUE friends.. i think true friends are really hard to find.. it's really not easy to find someone who you can comfortably talk to about ANYTHING, including ur problems.. someone who is willing to share with you about their life, their problems.. someone who is willing to listen to you.. someone who is willing to accompany when you needed someone to be by ur side.. even if they dun know wat to say at times, or nothing to say at times.. i feel that it's ok.. it's the company they have for u tt really counts.. true friends need not talk a lot at times, but will still be able to feel each other by hearts.. it's the hearts tt talk.. :)
thank god for putting many true friends by my side.. i felt so blessed! :) and i really appreciate and thank god for each and every one of you.. i pray tt our friendships will really continue to stay strong.. i know it's not easy to maintain a good relationship with people, but i will try my best to put in the best effort i can to keep and maintain each and every relationships i have.. god please help me! :)
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Be Willing And God Will Open Doors For You
if you're willing, god will open doors for you.. :)
this is wat i've learnt over the past 1 week plus.. the willingness to do something for God will determines wat God will do for you too.. if you're willing to take out a step of faith, God will be willing to open doors for you.. :) turning back to him, focus on him, and be willing to take actions for him.. :)
recently, god has been dealing with me on relationships with people.. and i see that if i'm willing to put in the effort in maintaining a good relationship with people, he open doors for me to do so.. sometimes i juz feel quite distant from my parents, and god let me notice that the problem lies with me, not them.. when i reach home, i will just walk straight back to my room and on my laptop.. i did not make the effort to try to spend time with them or communicate with them.. but when i'm willing to change, willing to start trying to put in efforts to rebuild a good relationship with them, i see how god leads me and gave me the opportunities to do so.. :)
i once made a prayer to god.. i told him, please use me as a channel to bring people back to him.. please guide me and lead me in doing the right thing for him.. and yes, god listens to my prayers.. he never forgets wat i told him.. i may have forgotten wat i had told him before, but he will remind me instead.. :) i made the same prayer to him once again few days ago.. and he's guiding me and opening doors for me to do wat i have prayed for..
god is good.. other than rebuilding a good relationship with my parents, i also saw how god helps me to get connected back with friends that i've not met up for a long time, and build up a better relationship with friends that are still in touch quite often.. :) recently, i've learnt how to be more open up to people, i've learnt how to take the initiative in dating my friends or even starting a chat with them.. it's a breakthrough for me as i'm quite a quiet and passive person.. :p
i noticed that i do have many good friends around me and i need to continue to put in effort in spending time with them.. maintaining a good relationship with people is a 2-way thing.. it takes effort from both parties.. it may be juz sending a short sms asking them how are they, or meeting up for a short lunch/dinner, or having a short msn chat, or calling them up for a short catch up, it's all ways to get ourselves connected with them.. they might not be responding to us as actively as what we want, but all these are ways to show that we still care about them, we still love them, we still remember them.. it doesn't takes up a lot of our time.. it's the effort and thoughts that really counts.. :) who knows, one day we might need them to encourage us, to support us, to let us know tt we had not been forgotten too.. :p
juz do watever that is within our own abilities and capabilities, for wat we are doing, god sees it and he appreciates it.. it might juz be a little action from you that can change someone's life! we wont know, but god knows.. 试试看， 做做看，一定行！
this is wat i've learnt over the past 1 week plus.. the willingness to do something for God will determines wat God will do for you too.. if you're willing to take out a step of faith, God will be willing to open doors for you.. :) turning back to him, focus on him, and be willing to take actions for him.. :)
recently, god has been dealing with me on relationships with people.. and i see that if i'm willing to put in the effort in maintaining a good relationship with people, he open doors for me to do so.. sometimes i juz feel quite distant from my parents, and god let me notice that the problem lies with me, not them.. when i reach home, i will just walk straight back to my room and on my laptop.. i did not make the effort to try to spend time with them or communicate with them.. but when i'm willing to change, willing to start trying to put in efforts to rebuild a good relationship with them, i see how god leads me and gave me the opportunities to do so.. :)
i once made a prayer to god.. i told him, please use me as a channel to bring people back to him.. please guide me and lead me in doing the right thing for him.. and yes, god listens to my prayers.. he never forgets wat i told him.. i may have forgotten wat i had told him before, but he will remind me instead.. :) i made the same prayer to him once again few days ago.. and he's guiding me and opening doors for me to do wat i have prayed for..
god is good.. other than rebuilding a good relationship with my parents, i also saw how god helps me to get connected back with friends that i've not met up for a long time, and build up a better relationship with friends that are still in touch quite often.. :) recently, i've learnt how to be more open up to people, i've learnt how to take the initiative in dating my friends or even starting a chat with them.. it's a breakthrough for me as i'm quite a quiet and passive person.. :p
i noticed that i do have many good friends around me and i need to continue to put in effort in spending time with them.. maintaining a good relationship with people is a 2-way thing.. it takes effort from both parties.. it may be juz sending a short sms asking them how are they, or meeting up for a short lunch/dinner, or having a short msn chat, or calling them up for a short catch up, it's all ways to get ourselves connected with them.. they might not be responding to us as actively as what we want, but all these are ways to show that we still care about them, we still love them, we still remember them.. it doesn't takes up a lot of our time.. it's the effort and thoughts that really counts.. :) who knows, one day we might need them to encourage us, to support us, to let us know tt we had not been forgotten too.. :p
juz do watever that is within our own abilities and capabilities, for wat we are doing, god sees it and he appreciates it.. it might juz be a little action from you that can change someone's life! we wont know, but god knows.. 试试看， 做做看，一定行！
Monday, April 07, 2008
Fear Not, For I Am With You!
it's really not good to have too long a break and got nothing in mind!
for the past 1 week, life was a complete misery for me.. negative thoughts just kept coming into my mind.. i felt really lost, really tired.. it’s a real torment.. was struggling to get things sorted out.. cant find any peace and joy.. felt super uncomfortable that i really got the thought of going back to my old self, felt like hiding myself up.. it's to an extend that when you want to find someone to tok to, there is no one around.. and if there is someone for you, you juz dont feel like toking.. :(
it’s juz like you had put on the lock, and it’s juz a step away to either remove the lock or lock it and that’s it! it's a really really tough process to go thru, as the outcome of both action will be completely different.. at times, it just seems like i've already gotten over things, but the fact is, i had not completely got over, and negative thoughts will juz come and go as they wished to..
really thank god he had never forsaken me and never leave me in my toughest time.. in fact now i really know why we will have to go thru such tough process at times.. sometimes we are juz to complacent with our present life that we may had forgotten about god’s goodness to us.. and at these times, god will let us go thru sufferings to remind us to go back to him, to remind us how weak we humans can be.. it’s even to the extend that we can feel really helpless and all we can do is to cry out to him and seek him.. :)
i guess i had already completely get things over, and had learnt many things thru this process.. god reminded me and teaches me many things over the past 1 week.. haha.. i give thanks to him that it’s only 1 week and not 1 month, or even up to 1 year.. :p
few things that god taught/ reminded me:
- how to be more open up to him and to others
- how to look at things from different perspectives
- how to seek him and feel his presence
- we need to spend the effort to take some actions to see things changed
- have faith in him and not doubt him
- the harder it is, the greater the glory
- for all things that happen, it happen for a reason.. and ultimately it is to glorify his name
- dont think about what others think, juz do the right thing for him
- juz do things that are within our abilities and capabilities, for whatever we do, we are doing it for him.. he sees and appreciate wat we do..
- always know that he is in control of all things, and he has his best timing and plan for all things..
- he really understands and knows wat we are thinking and how we are feeling, juz got to fix our eyes upon him, open our hearts to him, and follows wat he wants us to do, and he will open his doors for us..
experienced his goodness to me yesterday.. went to airport with angie, esther, sarah, and weiying.. when i’m on my way home, was feeling a bit tired.. got the urge to take a cab home.. coz wat i have in mind is to get home fast! haha.. in the end, i did not take a cab.. took mrt to kallang to change bus.. while i was walking to the bus stop, i was hoping that i will not wait too long for my bus to come.. so i juz made a short conversation with god.. i said that, god if u are really good to me, please let my bus come juz as i reach the bus stop, so i do not need to wait so long for the bus to come.. and when i juz reach the bus stop, i turned around to see if there’s any bus coming, i saw my bus.. at that moment, i was so shocked that there is nothing i can do or think but to give thanks and praise him for his goodness! that’s not the end.. haha.. when i board the bus, i told god, please let me reach home by 1045pm.. and when i reach home, it’s not even 1045!! haha..
well, all i can say is.. he really listens to every single little things we said.. even if it is the smallest thing, he still listens to us.. all we have to do is to pray and have faith in him, juz believe and not doubt! :)
Monday, March 24, 2008
I Am Happy :)
yeap, i am happy! i am very happy today! God is really nice to me! :)
god knows that somehow i dun really feel very good these few days.. probably is due to the tiredness.. haha.. but thank god for the many tiny little things that he did in my life, to affirm me that he loves me and he knows me better than i know myself! :)
thank god that my 3 friends i invited to easter sunday service, attended the service! my grandparents attended too! i am really, really very happy that they went.. :) well, though they did not accept christ, but i believe god has his own timing for it.. :p i just have to do my part, and god will do the rest! :)
god reminded me that we have to give thanks to him for all circumstances, as things could have been worst without him.. though many unexpected things may happen in our life, no matter good or bad, we just have to learn to give thanks and have faith in him.. and no matter what happened, he is always by our side looking after us, guiding and leading us! :)
god knows that somehow i dun really feel very good these few days.. probably is due to the tiredness.. haha.. but thank god for the many tiny little things that he did in my life, to affirm me that he loves me and he knows me better than i know myself! :)
thank god that my 3 friends i invited to easter sunday service, attended the service! my grandparents attended too! i am really, really very happy that they went.. :) well, though they did not accept christ, but i believe god has his own timing for it.. :p i just have to do my part, and god will do the rest! :)
god reminded me that we have to give thanks to him for all circumstances, as things could have been worst without him.. though many unexpected things may happen in our life, no matter good or bad, we just have to learn to give thanks and have faith in him.. and no matter what happened, he is always by our side looking after us, guiding and leading us! :)
Friday, March 14, 2008
God Is Good!
God is good, ALL THE TIME!! :p
have been feeling quite tired these few days.. and my mind is starting to run wild.. many things came to my mind.. seems to be thinking about lots of things, yet i dunno wat i am thinking about.. :( and all i know is that i think it's time for me to rest! yes, rest!!
taken 2 days leave this week to really rest and sort out my thoughts.. was quite worried about the outcome of certain things, but god showed me that there is nothing i need to worry about.. as i trust and have faith in him, everything will juz go on smoothly.. my worries are for nothing!!
went to esplanade with angie yesterday.. it was drizzling and we were walking around in a relax pace.. the feel was really good.. slowing down our pace and really enjoying the surroundings, and taking a good look at god's wonderful creations! :)
when we were at esplanade library, i saw something quite interesting and it makes me think about my life.. there is this phrase said by someone, "there's always a question mark, where it'll lead us to, only time will tell!" well.. for me, i guess sometimes i juz dun have enough faith in god, and tend to have doubts.. and this phrase reminded me that, yeah, though we may have doubts or wat, but we still have to move on.. and juz do wat is right.. and when the time comes, we will know why we have to do certain things previously.. :)
there are things we certainly know.. we know deep in our hearts that things happen for a reason, and god is in control of all things.. but we human juz tend to doubt it at certain point in time.. :)
anyway, thank god for many things.. thank god for putting 2 good sisters (chuan and angie) by my side, whom i can approached when i need to find someone to tok to.. :) thank god that i managed to invite my 3 good friends (yen, xiu, mag) to Easter Sunday Service.. :) thank god, my work contract is settled.. thank god, i managed to fulfil my agreement with chuan (giving her a birthday surprise! :p).. thank god for teaching many things that i do not know.. :)
oh ya, thanks everyone who are involved in the making chuan's birthday surprise a successful one! :p
have been feeling quite tired these few days.. and my mind is starting to run wild.. many things came to my mind.. seems to be thinking about lots of things, yet i dunno wat i am thinking about.. :( and all i know is that i think it's time for me to rest! yes, rest!!
taken 2 days leave this week to really rest and sort out my thoughts.. was quite worried about the outcome of certain things, but god showed me that there is nothing i need to worry about.. as i trust and have faith in him, everything will juz go on smoothly.. my worries are for nothing!!
went to esplanade with angie yesterday.. it was drizzling and we were walking around in a relax pace.. the feel was really good.. slowing down our pace and really enjoying the surroundings, and taking a good look at god's wonderful creations! :)
when we were at esplanade library, i saw something quite interesting and it makes me think about my life.. there is this phrase said by someone, "there's always a question mark, where it'll lead us to, only time will tell!" well.. for me, i guess sometimes i juz dun have enough faith in god, and tend to have doubts.. and this phrase reminded me that, yeah, though we may have doubts or wat, but we still have to move on.. and juz do wat is right.. and when the time comes, we will know why we have to do certain things previously.. :)
there are things we certainly know.. we know deep in our hearts that things happen for a reason, and god is in control of all things.. but we human juz tend to doubt it at certain point in time.. :)
anyway, thank god for many things.. thank god for putting 2 good sisters (chuan and angie) by my side, whom i can approached when i need to find someone to tok to.. :) thank god that i managed to invite my 3 good friends (yen, xiu, mag) to Easter Sunday Service.. :) thank god, my work contract is settled.. thank god, i managed to fulfil my agreement with chuan (giving her a birthday surprise! :p).. thank god for teaching many things that i do not know.. :)
oh ya, thanks everyone who are involved in the making chuan's birthday surprise a successful one! :p
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Trust And Not Doubt!
thank god for 2040 worship yesterday.. though i felt that i'm not playing very well, but i was told that my drums were quite good.. but there are still many things i need to improve on.. :)
anyway, for the past few days, had been doing QT in the morning and practising on how to listen to god.. at first i wasn't really sure if what i received is from god, or is it my own voice.. was analyzing things tt came to my mind, and kept having doubts.. but i was reminded that not to analyze first, juz write down watever tt came into my mind..
was receiving almost the same message everyday.. i need to have faith in him and trust him.. have confidence and be more daring.. there is nothing that i need to be afraid of.. just have faith in him, and he will lead and guide me thru all things.. he will use me to do great things for him, even though i'm not perfect..
i truely know deep in my heart, it was wat god wanted to tell me.. but somehow i still doubted at times.. god knows abt my doubts.. and he used yang to send me a sms as a confirmation.. it was exactly wat i received from god in the past few days.. when i saw the sms yesterday morning, i was a bit shocked, but greatly encouraged.. :)
anyway, went to watch L Change The World today.. was quite a nice show.. the little boy is very cute.. :)
didn't really planned to watch this show.. but somehow still went to watch it with weiying and chuan.. :) thank god i went to watch and i was being reminded of certain things thru what L had said in the show..
1) Do what you should do
2) No man in the world has the right to take away anything from you
3) No matter how gifted you are, you alone cannot change the world
4) Find happiness
god is really good.. he has his timing for everything.. experienced his goodness when we're on our way to watch movie.. :) thank you, lord!
anyway, for the past few days, had been doing QT in the morning and practising on how to listen to god.. at first i wasn't really sure if what i received is from god, or is it my own voice.. was analyzing things tt came to my mind, and kept having doubts.. but i was reminded that not to analyze first, juz write down watever tt came into my mind..
was receiving almost the same message everyday.. i need to have faith in him and trust him.. have confidence and be more daring.. there is nothing that i need to be afraid of.. just have faith in him, and he will lead and guide me thru all things.. he will use me to do great things for him, even though i'm not perfect..
i truely know deep in my heart, it was wat god wanted to tell me.. but somehow i still doubted at times.. god knows abt my doubts.. and he used yang to send me a sms as a confirmation.. it was exactly wat i received from god in the past few days.. when i saw the sms yesterday morning, i was a bit shocked, but greatly encouraged.. :)
anyway, went to watch L Change The World today.. was quite a nice show.. the little boy is very cute.. :)
didn't really planned to watch this show.. but somehow still went to watch it with weiying and chuan.. :) thank god i went to watch and i was being reminded of certain things thru what L had said in the show..
1) Do what you should do
2) No man in the world has the right to take away anything from you
3) No matter how gifted you are, you alone cannot change the world
4) Find happiness
god is really good.. he has his timing for everything.. experienced his goodness when we're on our way to watch movie.. :) thank you, lord!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The Lord Is My Strength - 约书亚敬拜
纵然是无花果树不发旺
葡萄树也不结果
虽然橄榄树不效力
田地也无法收成
就算是圈中无羊
棚内牛群也不生养
我仍然要欢欣快乐
因耶和华神是我救主
他赐给我能力
使我脚快如母鹿的蹄
又使我稳行在高处
因主是我的力量
Even though the fig trees has no fruit
and no grapes grow on the vines
Even though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no corn
Even though the sheep all die
and the cattle stalls are empty
I will still be joyful and glad
because the Lord God is my Savior
the Lord gives me strength
He makes me surefooted as a deer
and keep me safe on the mountain
because the Lord is my strength
He is my strength
Jesus Oh Jesus
葡萄树也不结果
虽然橄榄树不效力
田地也无法收成
就算是圈中无羊
棚内牛群也不生养
我仍然要欢欣快乐
因耶和华神是我救主
他赐给我能力
使我脚快如母鹿的蹄
又使我稳行在高处
因主是我的力量
Even though the fig trees has no fruit
and no grapes grow on the vines
Even though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no corn
Even though the sheep all die
and the cattle stalls are empty
I will still be joyful and glad
because the Lord God is my Savior
the Lord gives me strength
He makes me surefooted as a deer
and keep me safe on the mountain
because the Lord is my strength
He is my strength
Jesus Oh Jesus
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Way to Heaven - 约书亚敬拜
走在街上 静静的看
不知为何人们如此匆忙
在公车上 望着窗外
回想今天到底做了什么
做了什么 为什么
感觉世界很难领悟
不清楚 跑不出
生命道路 Yeah
长大以后 烦恼变多
为何成功总是擦肩而过
有的时候 脚步太重
根本没有机会重新来过
这个时候 在梦中
有个声音向我呼唤
你是否 也愿意
选这条路 Yeah
The way to heaven Way to heaven
虽然这条路有许多困苦
但有天上的光 为我指引方向
让我的未来 没有惧怕
The way to heaven Way to heaven
难免有许多事无法平复
有了天上的光 使我不再迷惘
带领我到应许的地方
It's the way to heaven
It's the way to heaven
不知为何人们如此匆忙
在公车上 望着窗外
回想今天到底做了什么
做了什么 为什么
感觉世界很难领悟
不清楚 跑不出
生命道路 Yeah
长大以后 烦恼变多
为何成功总是擦肩而过
有的时候 脚步太重
根本没有机会重新来过
这个时候 在梦中
有个声音向我呼唤
你是否 也愿意
选这条路 Yeah
The way to heaven Way to heaven
虽然这条路有许多困苦
但有天上的光 为我指引方向
让我的未来 没有惧怕
The way to heaven Way to heaven
难免有许多事无法平复
有了天上的光 使我不再迷惘
带领我到应许的地方
It's the way to heaven
It's the way to heaven
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Listening To God
God, are you trying to tell me something and waiting for my response? am i missing out what you are trying to tell me?
during prayer meet last week, rev haoran prayed for me.. it was the 2nd time he prayed for me during prayer meet.. and wat he prayed for me for both times is about the same thing.. inferiority have to leave me.. ya, it was something i received when i went to korea last year.. i need to overcome my inferiority and fear.. god, please help me!!
i think another thing god is trying to tell me is about having faith in Him and confidence in myself.. if we have faith in god and confidence in ourselves and follow what god told us, we will be able to reach the goal in a shorter time.. but if we don't have faith in Him and confidence in ourselves, then we will have to spend more time struggling and figuring out, which will lead us to spend a longer time to reach the ultimate goal..
but whether to get there in a shorter or longer path, god is in control.. he has his own methods and plans for each of us.. all we have to do is to pray and trust in him.. he has his own timing for us.. and sometimes we dunno why some things will happen, but it juz happened.. but no matter what it is, the ultimate result is to glorify his name.. :)
thank god for talking to me.. thank god for giving me reminders for wat is the right thing that i have to do.. i felt really blessed to have sisters by my side to give me encouragement, advice, and listen to my sharing.. i should not take it for granted that they will definitely listen to me or share with me.. nothing is for granted.. it's all because god is gracious to me.. :)
god, i know there is nothing i have to worry about because you are with me.. :) please help me to build up my self-confidence and faith in you! i know for whatever things that happen, you are in control.. you have the best plans for me.. :) lord, i thank you for who and what i am now.. ur goodness to me is indescribable!! Praise The Lord!! :)
during prayer meet last week, rev haoran prayed for me.. it was the 2nd time he prayed for me during prayer meet.. and wat he prayed for me for both times is about the same thing.. inferiority have to leave me.. ya, it was something i received when i went to korea last year.. i need to overcome my inferiority and fear.. god, please help me!!
i think another thing god is trying to tell me is about having faith in Him and confidence in myself.. if we have faith in god and confidence in ourselves and follow what god told us, we will be able to reach the goal in a shorter time.. but if we don't have faith in Him and confidence in ourselves, then we will have to spend more time struggling and figuring out, which will lead us to spend a longer time to reach the ultimate goal..
but whether to get there in a shorter or longer path, god is in control.. he has his own methods and plans for each of us.. all we have to do is to pray and trust in him.. he has his own timing for us.. and sometimes we dunno why some things will happen, but it juz happened.. but no matter what it is, the ultimate result is to glorify his name.. :)
thank god for talking to me.. thank god for giving me reminders for wat is the right thing that i have to do.. i felt really blessed to have sisters by my side to give me encouragement, advice, and listen to my sharing.. i should not take it for granted that they will definitely listen to me or share with me.. nothing is for granted.. it's all because god is gracious to me.. :)
god, i know there is nothing i have to worry about because you are with me.. :) please help me to build up my self-confidence and faith in you! i know for whatever things that happen, you are in control.. you have the best plans for me.. :) lord, i thank you for who and what i am now.. ur goodness to me is indescribable!! Praise The Lord!! :)
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Happy CNY!
cny this year is a different one for me.. something seems to be missing.. i'm not feeling as excited or happy as before.. probably is because i'm getting older, and cny to me will be like juz any other public holidays.. for sure, i know that this is not the only reason that causes me to feel this way.. there are other reasons which makes me not to feel excited or happy about cny..
god knows i'm not really happy for this coming cny, and he spoke to me thru prayer meeting yesterday.. i remember that rev fucai said that whether to be happy or not happy, it is something that we can choose.. yup, i agreed.. it is up to us to choose if we wan to be happy.. it's all in our mind..
so what's my choice? of coz, i will want to choose to be happy! thank god that for this cny, there are still many people by my side.. my relatives and friends.. oh ya, this year i have rym too.. and definitely, god is with me too.. yes, i'm not alone! :)
Happy Chinese New Year!!
god knows i'm not really happy for this coming cny, and he spoke to me thru prayer meeting yesterday.. i remember that rev fucai said that whether to be happy or not happy, it is something that we can choose.. yup, i agreed.. it is up to us to choose if we wan to be happy.. it's all in our mind..
so what's my choice? of coz, i will want to choose to be happy! thank god that for this cny, there are still many people by my side.. my relatives and friends.. oh ya, this year i have rym too.. and definitely, god is with me too.. yes, i'm not alone! :)
Happy Chinese New Year!!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Give Thanks
Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son
And now let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks
感谢 以真诚的心
感谢 予圣洁的灵
感谢 因他赐下独生子耶稣
现今他使软弱成刚强
他使贫穷得富足
因我主成就美事
感谢 感谢
"Music is a gift from God. You don't own it; he is letting you borrow it."
thank god for lending me the drum skills that i need.. :) I know that if i don't appreciate it, or i misuse it, he will take it back from me.. i pray that i will always remember i have to stay humble and always give thanks to him for everything..
was really happy to hear cheri's feedback on my drumming for 2040 worship yesterday.. really appreciate that.. :) really thank god for giving me such a good cell leader.. really enjoy talking to her.. or i should say, really enjoy listening to her.. every time when she talks to me, there bound to be something that will make me really go and think about, or look at things from different perspective.. her "dare to say" character, is something that i admire alot.. and i guess this may be one of the point that makes her outstand others.. definitely, i can say that she had made a great impact in my life.. :) thanks cheri jie!!
thank god for chuan too.. really appreciate her willingness to listen to my sharing, and her willingness to share with me too.. :) really thank god that we do have chances to meet up, sit down and talk.. which i really cannot take it for granted.. :) i really enjoy the time when i can freely talk and share.. :) it's really not easy to get such chances in life! thanks chuan!
oh ya, thank god for the rym girls, especially angie, esther, sarah, sihui, weiying, and weiting.. really enjoy hanging out with u girls.. u girls are great company.. it's really a great blessing to have u girls by my side! u girls really brought in a lot of joy and laughter into my life.. thanks girls!
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son
And now let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks
感谢 以真诚的心
感谢 予圣洁的灵
感谢 因他赐下独生子耶稣
现今他使软弱成刚强
他使贫穷得富足
因我主成就美事
感谢 感谢
"Music is a gift from God. You don't own it; he is letting you borrow it."
thank god for lending me the drum skills that i need.. :) I know that if i don't appreciate it, or i misuse it, he will take it back from me.. i pray that i will always remember i have to stay humble and always give thanks to him for everything..
was really happy to hear cheri's feedback on my drumming for 2040 worship yesterday.. really appreciate that.. :) really thank god for giving me such a good cell leader.. really enjoy talking to her.. or i should say, really enjoy listening to her.. every time when she talks to me, there bound to be something that will make me really go and think about, or look at things from different perspective.. her "dare to say" character, is something that i admire alot.. and i guess this may be one of the point that makes her outstand others.. definitely, i can say that she had made a great impact in my life.. :) thanks cheri jie!!
thank god for chuan too.. really appreciate her willingness to listen to my sharing, and her willingness to share with me too.. :) really thank god that we do have chances to meet up, sit down and talk.. which i really cannot take it for granted.. :) i really enjoy the time when i can freely talk and share.. :) it's really not easy to get such chances in life! thanks chuan!
oh ya, thank god for the rym girls, especially angie, esther, sarah, sihui, weiying, and weiting.. really enjoy hanging out with u girls.. u girls are great company.. it's really a great blessing to have u girls by my side! u girls really brought in a lot of joy and laughter into my life.. thanks girls!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I Am Who I Am
thank god for giving many reminders..
i had been praying to God that i wanna hear his voice.. but i had never notice that god had already been speaking to me.. thank god i joined in the sharing for jamming yesterday.. thru uncle dingliang, i was reminded that god is already speaking to me for many times.. he pop me with a question, "cindy, 最近你有常听到上帝的声音对吗?" it was a bit sudden, and i stunt for a moment.. and replied, "ya, occasionally".. and he said that, he can feel tt i did hear god's voice.. coz he saw the change in my life.. :) hearing god's voice doesnt mean tt really have to hear god's voice.. but it may be just a thought tt came into the mind, may be something that you read, etc.. and i started to think and recall.. and yes, i've been hearing god's voice, and it's just that i did not know tt god is speaking to me.. but i'm glad tt now i know! thank god!
since the start of 2008, many negative thoughts came to me.. i was having doubts in whatever i do.. be it my work, my serving, etc.. i juz feel that i'm quite useless in whatever i do.. i seem to be not able to do things well as what i thought i have to.. but thank god for putting strong support by my side.. thank god for reminding me that i should not let all these negative thoughts have a hold over me.. i should not compare myself with others.. thank god for helping me to get out of all the struggles i had been facing.. i begin to learn how to accept myself for who i am, i learn how to accept my limitations, i learn how not to compare myself with others, i learn about humility too.. :)
god has been constantly reminding me "I AM WHO I AM"!
on friday, during the bible teaching in church, the topic was about i am who i am.. and yesterday cheri talked to me regarding my style of playing drums.. she told me that i should create a style of my own.. coz no matter how closely i imitate others, i juz cant play like them.. coz they are who they are.. i am not them, i cant play exactly like them.. and i should create a style of my own, and others would not be able to play like me too, coz they are not me.. yes, i thank god she talked to me about it.. god is once again reminding me that i am who i am.. and i recalled that at the beginning of the year, during youth prayer meeting, i think sarah and jiaying did pray for me abt creating a style of my own too.. i used to think about creating my own style.. but soon i forget about it, coz i dun have the courage to try out new stuffs.. i'm afraid of how pple look or think about me.. but thank god for this "wake up" call.. yes, i should not be imitating others.. i should create a style of my own.. :)
i was also greatly encouraged by what my sis told me.. it was something that she will never tell me in the past.. honestly, i'm not very close to my sis.. whenever i see others getting along really well with their sisters, i always wonder how come my sis and i can't be like them too.. but i believe tt god has his timing for everything.. he has the most perfect plan for all of us.. recently, i saw a change in my sis life too.. and god uses her to affirm me.. she told me, "i'm very proud of you, really proud of you".. i was really very touched when she told me this.. i believe the day that i'm hoping for will come very soon.. :) anyway, sis, i also wanna tell you that, "i'm very proud of you too.. no matter what, u're the most wonderful sis i have!" i really miss the time when we used to quarrel and fight with one another when we're younger.. coz tt is the time when we really get to communicate and interact wth each other.. :)
i had thank god many times on this, but i still have to give thanks to him today.. haha.. really thank god for providing chuan by my side, and is willing to listen to my sharing.. :) thank god for providing me someone whom i'm able to tok to freely.. there is no need for me to put on a mask.. there is no need for me to hide.. :) yes, i could share with her honestly.. thank god for changing me too.. if u wan me to do something like this in the past, it is a 100% impossible thingy.. i used to keep everything to myself.. i used to hide myself from people.. i'm like having a split personality.. i avoid talking about anything related to God, church, spiritual life when i'm out of church.. thank god, now i'm able to share abt my life, my experiences, etc.. i no longer hide as much as what i did in the past! haha!
i accepted christ when i was abt 7 yr old, though it's not a very good thing but i have to admit that i dun lead a good christian life, and i'm not a good christian before i turn 21.. thank god, at the age of 21, which is last year, he changed my life! a great change in my life after coming back from korea! although i'm a christian for many years, i have to say tt my spiritual life is not good.. yes, i juz started to lead a christian life since july 2007.. i'm juz like a new believer.. :) thank god for giving me the courage to admit and accept this fact.. and gave me the thought of getting myself a mentor.. but i'm not sure who will be the one.. haha.. anyway, have to pray about it.. but i'm sure that god will prepare one for me! :)
i had been praying to God that i wanna hear his voice.. but i had never notice that god had already been speaking to me.. thank god i joined in the sharing for jamming yesterday.. thru uncle dingliang, i was reminded that god is already speaking to me for many times.. he pop me with a question, "cindy, 最近你有常听到上帝的声音对吗?" it was a bit sudden, and i stunt for a moment.. and replied, "ya, occasionally".. and he said that, he can feel tt i did hear god's voice.. coz he saw the change in my life.. :) hearing god's voice doesnt mean tt really have to hear god's voice.. but it may be just a thought tt came into the mind, may be something that you read, etc.. and i started to think and recall.. and yes, i've been hearing god's voice, and it's just that i did not know tt god is speaking to me.. but i'm glad tt now i know! thank god!
since the start of 2008, many negative thoughts came to me.. i was having doubts in whatever i do.. be it my work, my serving, etc.. i juz feel that i'm quite useless in whatever i do.. i seem to be not able to do things well as what i thought i have to.. but thank god for putting strong support by my side.. thank god for reminding me that i should not let all these negative thoughts have a hold over me.. i should not compare myself with others.. thank god for helping me to get out of all the struggles i had been facing.. i begin to learn how to accept myself for who i am, i learn how to accept my limitations, i learn how not to compare myself with others, i learn about humility too.. :)
god has been constantly reminding me "I AM WHO I AM"!
on friday, during the bible teaching in church, the topic was about i am who i am.. and yesterday cheri talked to me regarding my style of playing drums.. she told me that i should create a style of my own.. coz no matter how closely i imitate others, i juz cant play like them.. coz they are who they are.. i am not them, i cant play exactly like them.. and i should create a style of my own, and others would not be able to play like me too, coz they are not me.. yes, i thank god she talked to me about it.. god is once again reminding me that i am who i am.. and i recalled that at the beginning of the year, during youth prayer meeting, i think sarah and jiaying did pray for me abt creating a style of my own too.. i used to think about creating my own style.. but soon i forget about it, coz i dun have the courage to try out new stuffs.. i'm afraid of how pple look or think about me.. but thank god for this "wake up" call.. yes, i should not be imitating others.. i should create a style of my own.. :)
i was also greatly encouraged by what my sis told me.. it was something that she will never tell me in the past.. honestly, i'm not very close to my sis.. whenever i see others getting along really well with their sisters, i always wonder how come my sis and i can't be like them too.. but i believe tt god has his timing for everything.. he has the most perfect plan for all of us.. recently, i saw a change in my sis life too.. and god uses her to affirm me.. she told me, "i'm very proud of you, really proud of you".. i was really very touched when she told me this.. i believe the day that i'm hoping for will come very soon.. :) anyway, sis, i also wanna tell you that, "i'm very proud of you too.. no matter what, u're the most wonderful sis i have!" i really miss the time when we used to quarrel and fight with one another when we're younger.. coz tt is the time when we really get to communicate and interact wth each other.. :)
i had thank god many times on this, but i still have to give thanks to him today.. haha.. really thank god for providing chuan by my side, and is willing to listen to my sharing.. :) thank god for providing me someone whom i'm able to tok to freely.. there is no need for me to put on a mask.. there is no need for me to hide.. :) yes, i could share with her honestly.. thank god for changing me too.. if u wan me to do something like this in the past, it is a 100% impossible thingy.. i used to keep everything to myself.. i used to hide myself from people.. i'm like having a split personality.. i avoid talking about anything related to God, church, spiritual life when i'm out of church.. thank god, now i'm able to share abt my life, my experiences, etc.. i no longer hide as much as what i did in the past! haha!
i accepted christ when i was abt 7 yr old, though it's not a very good thing but i have to admit that i dun lead a good christian life, and i'm not a good christian before i turn 21.. thank god, at the age of 21, which is last year, he changed my life! a great change in my life after coming back from korea! although i'm a christian for many years, i have to say tt my spiritual life is not good.. yes, i juz started to lead a christian life since july 2007.. i'm juz like a new believer.. :) thank god for giving me the courage to admit and accept this fact.. and gave me the thought of getting myself a mentor.. but i'm not sure who will be the one.. haha.. anyway, have to pray about it.. but i'm sure that god will prepare one for me! :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
No One Is Perfect
today's prayer meet was good.. :)
during prayer time, once i step out to the front and kneel down, tears flowed out.. i felt so helpless.. i was telling god many many things.. i didnt want to hide from him anymore.. i spoke to him honestly.. i told him i felt tt i'm so useless.. i wanna do great things for him.. but i juz cant seems to do much for him.. i feel tt my spiritual life is lousy.. there are many many things tt really bothers me.. i bother on how pple look at me, what pple think abt me, etc.. i'm always afraid to do certain things.. inferiority is oways with me.. :(
as i was praying, this phrase came to me.. 在人不能，在神凡事都能.. amen! there are many things which i will not be able to do it by my own strength.. but thru god, nothing is impossible.. yes! thank god.. he reminded me.. nothing is impossible in him! i want to accept myself for who i am.. no one is perfect.. i have to learn to accept my limitations.. :)
there are many things i need to learn.. but i shouldn't be afraid.. for god is always with me.. leading and guiding me..
chuan, thanks for praying for me juz now.. ur prayer was very ministering to me.. :)
during prayer time, once i step out to the front and kneel down, tears flowed out.. i felt so helpless.. i was telling god many many things.. i didnt want to hide from him anymore.. i spoke to him honestly.. i told him i felt tt i'm so useless.. i wanna do great things for him.. but i juz cant seems to do much for him.. i feel tt my spiritual life is lousy.. there are many many things tt really bothers me.. i bother on how pple look at me, what pple think abt me, etc.. i'm always afraid to do certain things.. inferiority is oways with me.. :(
as i was praying, this phrase came to me.. 在人不能，在神凡事都能.. amen! there are many things which i will not be able to do it by my own strength.. but thru god, nothing is impossible.. yes! thank god.. he reminded me.. nothing is impossible in him! i want to accept myself for who i am.. no one is perfect.. i have to learn to accept my limitations.. :)
there are many things i need to learn.. but i shouldn't be afraid.. for god is always with me.. leading and guiding me..
chuan, thanks for praying for me juz now.. ur prayer was very ministering to me.. :)
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Dream for the Lord
thank god for today's 2040 worship.. thank god for helping me to sort out my thoughts..
god is speaking to me in many ways.. few days ago, i noticed this book "So I'm Not Perfect" on my dining table.. i have no idea where this book came from.. and i dunno who bought it, or watever.. anyway, when i first saw this book.. i feel that god is going to speak to me thru this book.. so i started reading the first few pages.. and yes! indeed.. alot of the things written in this book juz hit my heart! thank god!
today during cell, we were sharing abt our dream.. my dream is.. i want to use the gift (drum skills) tt god gave me and serve him.. and of coz i hope tt whatever i play will be able to minister the congregation.. i also hope that drums will not be my only serving position.. i want to be able to serve him with other instruments, such as piano or guitar, too.. :)
actually i have another dream.. :) i hope that i can use my drum skills or my serving in drums to be a channel whereby i can bring pple to church or share gospel with them.. i do hope tt i can have a chance to "teach" pple how to play drums.. :)
there's one more dream which i dun really know how to put it in words.. :) it's related to worship too.. :) i hope that i will be able to "guide" or "train" worship teams to be able to play well and get the right feel or attitude.. argh.. dunno how to explain.. anyway, i guess it should be something like what cheri is doing for our jamming sessions.. :p haha!
my dream is to be God's musician/heavenly worshipper, and not just God's drummer.. :)
god is speaking to me in many ways.. few days ago, i noticed this book "So I'm Not Perfect" on my dining table.. i have no idea where this book came from.. and i dunno who bought it, or watever.. anyway, when i first saw this book.. i feel that god is going to speak to me thru this book.. so i started reading the first few pages.. and yes! indeed.. alot of the things written in this book juz hit my heart! thank god!
today during cell, we were sharing abt our dream.. my dream is.. i want to use the gift (drum skills) tt god gave me and serve him.. and of coz i hope tt whatever i play will be able to minister the congregation.. i also hope that drums will not be my only serving position.. i want to be able to serve him with other instruments, such as piano or guitar, too.. :)
actually i have another dream.. :) i hope that i can use my drum skills or my serving in drums to be a channel whereby i can bring pple to church or share gospel with them.. i do hope tt i can have a chance to "teach" pple how to play drums.. :)
there's one more dream which i dun really know how to put it in words.. :) it's related to worship too.. :) i hope that i will be able to "guide" or "train" worship teams to be able to play well and get the right feel or attitude.. argh.. dunno how to explain.. anyway, i guess it should be something like what cheri is doing for our jamming sessions.. :p haha!
my dream is to be God's musician/heavenly worshipper, and not just God's drummer.. :)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Do The Right Thing
wasn't in working mood recently.. mind juz kept shutting down or flying elsewhere when i'm in office.. got distracted easily at work.. lost interest in work.. no motivation to do work.. though i know i cant carry on like this, but it juz cant be helped.. i tried hard to concentrate at work.. but it failed many times.. :(
low productivity at work.. have not been doing much things.. was not doing my best at work.. which is not what i should be.. i knew tt even when i'm working, i'm also serving the lord.. i should do my best.. and not slacking around or trying find an easy way out..
i felt pretty bad about my own working attitude lately.. a thought came to me.. maybe i should sms my boss and apologize to her.. but i stop and think abt many qns.. i'm thinking if i should really do tt.. i'm thinking of after i sms her wat will happen? will she reply me? will she ignore my sms? wat will her reply be? lots of qns.. but no answer.. the only answer i have is.. I SHOULD sms her.. so i did.. and she replied me.. :)
thank god i had an understanding boss.. :) so far as i know, she knew that i'm not in the mood of working.. she did not blame me.. she did not stress me too much.. instead, she told me to do let her know if i have any issues.. :) there isn't many bosses like her out there left.. good bosses are almost extinct.. haha! but thank god, i still met one.. :)
dear lord, please help me to get back into working mood.. please help me to be willing to do whatever that is within my ability.. please give me the patience, strength, wisdom, and courage to do the right things that glorify your name.. amen!
low productivity at work.. have not been doing much things.. was not doing my best at work.. which is not what i should be.. i knew tt even when i'm working, i'm also serving the lord.. i should do my best.. and not slacking around or trying find an easy way out..
i felt pretty bad about my own working attitude lately.. a thought came to me.. maybe i should sms my boss and apologize to her.. but i stop and think abt many qns.. i'm thinking if i should really do tt.. i'm thinking of after i sms her wat will happen? will she reply me? will she ignore my sms? wat will her reply be? lots of qns.. but no answer.. the only answer i have is.. I SHOULD sms her.. so i did.. and she replied me.. :)
thank god i had an understanding boss.. :) so far as i know, she knew that i'm not in the mood of working.. she did not blame me.. she did not stress me too much.. instead, she told me to do let her know if i have any issues.. :) there isn't many bosses like her out there left.. good bosses are almost extinct.. haha! but thank god, i still met one.. :)
dear lord, please help me to get back into working mood.. please help me to be willing to do whatever that is within my ability.. please give me the patience, strength, wisdom, and courage to do the right things that glorify your name.. amen!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Press On!
recently was feeling really uncomfortable, and lots of struggles in me.. got the feeling of giving up on all things and cant be bothered with anything.. juz wanna be a slacker!! stay at home and rot in front of the tv or laptop!! but i know I CANT do that! i have to fight against all these unhealthy thoughts!
god is reminding me many things.. even when i'm watching tv program, he is speaking to me.. god is reminding me that he knows everything about me, he knows how i feel, he knows what i want, he knows what is best for me! he knows me better than i know myself! there is nothing i can hide from him..
some things may turn out not to be wat we expect, but it will be the best for us at that point in time.. 一切都是最好的安排！ we juz have to learn to accept all things and give thanks for all things.. no matter wat is it, Lord, i want to submit myself to you!
i know that god is rebuilding my heart! it may be a long and tough process, but i need to press on! it may be very difficult, but i know that i'm not alone! god is always by my side, watching after me.. giving me the strength, wisdom, and courage that i need..
sometimes it's really very difficult to find someone whom u will feel comfortable toking to and is willing to listen to u.. especially when u're feeling down.. it is very easy to find someone to share your joy and happiness.. but it is not easy to find someone to share your sorrows.. Lord, thank you for providing me a good sister (chuan) who is willing to listen to my sharing and whom i feel comfortable and enjoy toking to.. :)
god is reminding me many things.. even when i'm watching tv program, he is speaking to me.. god is reminding me that he knows everything about me, he knows how i feel, he knows what i want, he knows what is best for me! he knows me better than i know myself! there is nothing i can hide from him..
some things may turn out not to be wat we expect, but it will be the best for us at that point in time.. 一切都是最好的安排！ we juz have to learn to accept all things and give thanks for all things.. no matter wat is it, Lord, i want to submit myself to you!
i know that god is rebuilding my heart! it may be a long and tough process, but i need to press on! it may be very difficult, but i know that i'm not alone! god is always by my side, watching after me.. giving me the strength, wisdom, and courage that i need..
sometimes it's really very difficult to find someone whom u will feel comfortable toking to and is willing to listen to u.. especially when u're feeling down.. it is very easy to find someone to share your joy and happiness.. but it is not easy to find someone to share your sorrows.. Lord, thank you for providing me a good sister (chuan) who is willing to listen to my sharing and whom i feel comfortable and enjoy toking to.. :)
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
主，我献上生命给你 / Lord I Offer You My Life
我将自己完全献上
毫无保留，放在你的脚前
所有的悔恨，一切的称赞
无论苦与乐，都交托给你
过去的事，将来的事
还有那没有实现的梦想
我所有希望，我所有计划
全人和全心，都交托给你
(副歌)
喔，主，我献上生命给你
用我一切经历，来荣耀你圣名
主我献上一生给你
愿我赞美升起，能成为馨香活祭
我献上生命给你
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Who Am I?
"i need to find back myself..."
this phrase came to me while toking to my colleagues during lunch.. and the same thing came again when i was toking to chuan during dinner..
i feel lost.. i feel confused.. many things flashback in my mind.. i feel that i had lost my heart that thirst for the Lord, having strong faith in the Lord, fixing everything upon the Lord.. the heart that is pure and innocent.. the feeling is like losing the love you had for your first love.. it's juz so different from the time when i came back from korea..
was sharing with chuan.. she asked me, "how different?".. and this is wat i told her.. i used to pray everytime before i begin serving during worship.. i pray that God will used me greatly, guide me, lead me, filled me with Holy Spirit.. i juz believe that by myself i can do nothing, but with God, everything will be alright.. i serve not for myself.. but to glorify His Name..
but now... it seems different.. i pray only when i feel that i need Him.. i started to depend alot on myself.. i started to compare myself with others.. pride started to form inside me.. i wanted to play as well as joshua, and i started giving myself stress and pressure unknowningly.. it seems like i serve to show off how good i can be.. i'm serving for my own glory.. and what i can say is... ALL THESE ARE VERY VERY VERY WRONG!!!
thank god for reminding me before i become worst.. in order to get back myself, there are many things i need to learn.. i need to humble myself before people and God.. i must stop comparing myself with others.. it's really tiring to keep comparing.. when serving in drums, i need to learn to keep things simple and let god lead me.. i must not serve for my own glory.. i must serve for the Lord's glory!! no matter how good or bad i am, i'm juz a vessel used by the Lord.. i must learn to put full trust and faith in the Lord.. most importantly, i must remember that.. BY MYSELF I CAN DO NOTHING.. and everything that i do, whether is serving in drums or any other things.. it is not to please myself.. but to please the Lord!! :)
i'm tired of living with a mask..i need to learn to take off my mask.. i dun want to run away from things.. i dun want to enclose myself in my own world.. i dun wan to hide myself in front of people.. i dun wan to be bothered by how people look at or think abt me.. i dun want to force myself to put up a strong front when actually i am really weak inside.. i just want to be my true self no matter where i am.. i need to learn to face things bravely.. i need to learn to open myself up.. i need to remember that i am not always the best for everything.. i need to accept myself for who i am, and the fact that this is who i am.. :)
i have not been praying enough.. or should i say i have not been praying seriously enough.. i need to learn to pray more.. i need to build up my spiritual life.. i need to learn to do the right thing.. i must stop myself from finding excuses to escape from what God wants me to do.. i need to respond to God.. i need to have a submissive heart.. i need to submit myself, my whole self to God.. i shouldn't be keeping any bit for myself.. :)
anyway, i wanna thank god for chuan.. when i needed to find someone to tok to, god provided you for me.. :)
this phrase came to me while toking to my colleagues during lunch.. and the same thing came again when i was toking to chuan during dinner..
i feel lost.. i feel confused.. many things flashback in my mind.. i feel that i had lost my heart that thirst for the Lord, having strong faith in the Lord, fixing everything upon the Lord.. the heart that is pure and innocent.. the feeling is like losing the love you had for your first love.. it's juz so different from the time when i came back from korea..
was sharing with chuan.. she asked me, "how different?".. and this is wat i told her.. i used to pray everytime before i begin serving during worship.. i pray that God will used me greatly, guide me, lead me, filled me with Holy Spirit.. i juz believe that by myself i can do nothing, but with God, everything will be alright.. i serve not for myself.. but to glorify His Name..
but now... it seems different.. i pray only when i feel that i need Him.. i started to depend alot on myself.. i started to compare myself with others.. pride started to form inside me.. i wanted to play as well as joshua, and i started giving myself stress and pressure unknowningly.. it seems like i serve to show off how good i can be.. i'm serving for my own glory.. and what i can say is... ALL THESE ARE VERY VERY VERY WRONG!!!
thank god for reminding me before i become worst.. in order to get back myself, there are many things i need to learn.. i need to humble myself before people and God.. i must stop comparing myself with others.. it's really tiring to keep comparing.. when serving in drums, i need to learn to keep things simple and let god lead me.. i must not serve for my own glory.. i must serve for the Lord's glory!! no matter how good or bad i am, i'm juz a vessel used by the Lord.. i must learn to put full trust and faith in the Lord.. most importantly, i must remember that.. BY MYSELF I CAN DO NOTHING.. and everything that i do, whether is serving in drums or any other things.. it is not to please myself.. but to please the Lord!! :)
i'm tired of living with a mask..i need to learn to take off my mask.. i dun want to run away from things.. i dun want to enclose myself in my own world.. i dun wan to hide myself in front of people.. i dun wan to be bothered by how people look at or think abt me.. i dun want to force myself to put up a strong front when actually i am really weak inside.. i just want to be my true self no matter where i am.. i need to learn to face things bravely.. i need to learn to open myself up.. i need to remember that i am not always the best for everything.. i need to accept myself for who i am, and the fact that this is who i am.. :)
i have not been praying enough.. or should i say i have not been praying seriously enough.. i need to learn to pray more.. i need to build up my spiritual life.. i need to learn to do the right thing.. i must stop myself from finding excuses to escape from what God wants me to do.. i need to respond to God.. i need to have a submissive heart.. i need to submit myself, my whole self to God.. i shouldn't be keeping any bit for myself.. :)
anyway, i wanna thank god for chuan.. when i needed to find someone to tok to, god provided you for me.. :)
Monday, January 07, 2008
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Pray, Pray, Pray!
many questions start popping out in my mind.. really dunno wat's the right answer.. struggling hard to make the right decision.. am i serving coz i'm afraid i have no opportunity to serve? am i serving for my own glory? to show pple how good i am? OR am i serving the Lord for His Glory? responding to His calling for me?
probably my objective on serving is not very right.. guess i'm juz afraid that i wun have opportunity to serve, and i wun be able to serve him at least once a week (which is something that i prayed for)... tt's y i continue serving in china ministry.. i dun wan myself to have the mindset that serving every week is a MUST thing in my life.. and if i cant get to serve him for a particular week, i will feel unhappy or buay song..
and i also dun wan to have the mindset that, when i'm on duty, it doesn't matter if i got go down or never go down, coz daddy is always there to standby for china ministry.. i wan to have the sense of belonging and fu dan when i'm serving.. when it is my duty, i have the responsibility to go down and serve, unless i really cant go down due to certain factors.. which currently i think i dun really have when serving in china ministry.. it seems like, it doesnt matter if i'm there or not.. :(
having a wrong mindset when serving the Lord.. is something that is very very wrong!!! i need to change my thinking on my serving.. i need to get the correct objective and attitude for serving.. i serve.. not for myself, but serve for the Lord! :)
i dun wan myself to serve under dad's shadow.. which currently i really need to break free from the ying yin in playing drums from dad.. i need to build up my confidence level in playing drums.. i need to brush up my skills.. i need more fa hui kong jian.. i need more encouragement.. which i'm not able to get it when serving in china ministry.. when serving in china ministry, i feel tired, stressed and pressurized..
for e.g. last sat when serving in 2040, joshua was around.. i dun really feel uneasy when he's around, but instead i'm glad that he's around.. when during worship, he will "show" me what to do to make it right for the atmosphere.. when i did correctly, he will give me acknowledgement.. and i feel more confident when playing.. and for e.g. when playing the fast songs, when abt to the end, i make a small mistake, i went out of beat, he juz smile to me.. and this is something tt i need... acknowlegdement when i did the right thing, encouraging looks when i made mistakes.. and not giving me a look like i did something super wrong when it's juz a small mistake...
i always hope to find someone who can understand me, someone i'm able to tok to, able to share my stuffs with, and get good advice from.. i do have an elder sis.. but thank god for giving me another da jie.. my cell leader - cheri.. she's always giving me good advice and encouragement, which really helps me to see and think of things from another angle..
"Big sister is always right!" - quoted from rah.. haha!
thank god also for putting another group of sisters around me.. shared with them regarding my thoughts/struggles on serving in the china ministry.. they too gave me good advice which allows me to better know what i should really do.. :) that is... i really need to pray more about it... which i know it is something that i really really really lack of.. :(
i guess i need a break.. therefore, i've decided to take a break from serving in china ministry for 3 months.. for 2 reasons.. :) firstly, as now i'm back to youth, serving in 2040 service should be my main priority.. so i wanna focus and stabilise my serving in 2040 service first.. secondly, i really need time to pray and ask god about my serving in china ministry.. is this ministry a ministry that he wants me to continue serving, or does he have another plan for me.. :)
probably my objective on serving is not very right.. guess i'm juz afraid that i wun have opportunity to serve, and i wun be able to serve him at least once a week (which is something that i prayed for)... tt's y i continue serving in china ministry.. i dun wan myself to have the mindset that serving every week is a MUST thing in my life.. and if i cant get to serve him for a particular week, i will feel unhappy or buay song..
and i also dun wan to have the mindset that, when i'm on duty, it doesn't matter if i got go down or never go down, coz daddy is always there to standby for china ministry.. i wan to have the sense of belonging and fu dan when i'm serving.. when it is my duty, i have the responsibility to go down and serve, unless i really cant go down due to certain factors.. which currently i think i dun really have when serving in china ministry.. it seems like, it doesnt matter if i'm there or not.. :(
having a wrong mindset when serving the Lord.. is something that is very very wrong!!! i need to change my thinking on my serving.. i need to get the correct objective and attitude for serving.. i serve.. not for myself, but serve for the Lord! :)
i dun wan myself to serve under dad's shadow.. which currently i really need to break free from the ying yin in playing drums from dad.. i need to build up my confidence level in playing drums.. i need to brush up my skills.. i need more fa hui kong jian.. i need more encouragement.. which i'm not able to get it when serving in china ministry.. when serving in china ministry, i feel tired, stressed and pressurized..
for e.g. last sat when serving in 2040, joshua was around.. i dun really feel uneasy when he's around, but instead i'm glad that he's around.. when during worship, he will "show" me what to do to make it right for the atmosphere.. when i did correctly, he will give me acknowledgement.. and i feel more confident when playing.. and for e.g. when playing the fast songs, when abt to the end, i make a small mistake, i went out of beat, he juz smile to me.. and this is something tt i need... acknowlegdement when i did the right thing, encouraging looks when i made mistakes.. and not giving me a look like i did something super wrong when it's juz a small mistake...
i always hope to find someone who can understand me, someone i'm able to tok to, able to share my stuffs with, and get good advice from.. i do have an elder sis.. but thank god for giving me another da jie.. my cell leader - cheri.. she's always giving me good advice and encouragement, which really helps me to see and think of things from another angle..
"Big sister is always right!" - quoted from rah.. haha!
thank god also for putting another group of sisters around me.. shared with them regarding my thoughts/struggles on serving in the china ministry.. they too gave me good advice which allows me to better know what i should really do.. :) that is... i really need to pray more about it... which i know it is something that i really really really lack of.. :(
i guess i need a break.. therefore, i've decided to take a break from serving in china ministry for 3 months.. for 2 reasons.. :) firstly, as now i'm back to youth, serving in 2040 service should be my main priority.. so i wanna focus and stabilise my serving in 2040 service first.. secondly, i really need time to pray and ask god about my serving in china ministry.. is this ministry a ministry that he wants me to continue serving, or does he have another plan for me.. :)
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Lord, help me!
thank god for allowing me to serve in the 1st 2040 service for year 2008.. :)
really thank god for 2040 worship today.. was playing a mess during practise time.. haha.. was feeling very nervous.. but thank god, i think overall the worship was quite alright.. even though i made some mistakes somewhere, and was playing faster and faster at times.. haha.. tt's y i made one of my resolutions to be able to get rid of this bad habit.. Lord, please help me!!!
recently had some contradicting thoughts regarding my serving in china ministry.. was seeking god for an answer.. and i'm still seeking for a clear one.. :) seems to get more easily irritated too.. especially when my parents tok to me.. probably i'm juz giving myself too much pressure on certain things.. i guess most of u should know what is it.. :) it's oso one of my resolutions for 2008..
anyway, thanks chuan, sarah and jiajia for praying for me during youth prayer meet today.. u gals rock! :)
really thank god for 2040 worship today.. was playing a mess during practise time.. haha.. was feeling very nervous.. but thank god, i think overall the worship was quite alright.. even though i made some mistakes somewhere, and was playing faster and faster at times.. haha.. tt's y i made one of my resolutions to be able to get rid of this bad habit.. Lord, please help me!!!
recently had some contradicting thoughts regarding my serving in china ministry.. was seeking god for an answer.. and i'm still seeking for a clear one.. :) seems to get more easily irritated too.. especially when my parents tok to me.. probably i'm juz giving myself too much pressure on certain things.. i guess most of u should know what is it.. :) it's oso one of my resolutions for 2008..
anyway, thanks chuan, sarah and jiajia for praying for me during youth prayer meet today.. u gals rock! :)
Friday, January 04, 2008
应当单单仰望主
全心全意渴慕神慈爱的人
全心全意仰望神平安的人
创造天地万物和我们的主
他是多么地深爱着你
全心全意敬拜赞美神的人
全心全意渴望学像神的人
创造天地万物和我们的主
接纳你为神的儿女
神用他慈爱的双眼
无论何时无论何地看顾你
神用他仁慈的双耳
无论何时无论何地倾听你
在黑暗处他以光明照亮着你
极微小的呻吟他都细心地垂听
无论你在何处何方应当仰望主
应当单单仰望主
a nice song that always touches me and reminds me how good our heavenly father is!
no matter who we are, what we do, when and where, our dear heavenly father is always watching over us and listening to us... :)
全心全意仰望神平安的人
创造天地万物和我们的主
他是多么地深爱着你
全心全意敬拜赞美神的人
全心全意渴望学像神的人
创造天地万物和我们的主
接纳你为神的儿女
神用他慈爱的双眼
无论何时无论何地看顾你
神用他仁慈的双耳
无论何时无论何地倾听你
在黑暗处他以光明照亮着你
极微小的呻吟他都细心地垂听
无论你在何处何方应当仰望主
应当单单仰望主
a nice song that always touches me and reminds me how good our heavenly father is!
no matter who we are, what we do, when and where, our dear heavenly father is always watching over us and listening to us... :)
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Goodbye 2007, Welcome 2008
last day of 2007 was a really joyful day for me!
we had twm gathering at 4pm yesterday.. learn abt wat the banners that the dancers used stand for.. it's a good learning time.. :) we had a prayer time after tt.. was feeling not very good at first.. i cried.. continued to pray n pray.. and towards the end, dancer sarah pass me the banner tt represents joy! it is something i guess i really need and want! :)
continue staying in church for the countdown prayer meet.. finally got a breakthrough in my life! my FIRST TIME going up stage to share in front of many people! (it's an add on to my "first times" in december.. :) ) when rev fucai gave chances for people to go up to share, my mum turned around and look at me, chuan oso ask me to go up.. but i juz dun have the courage.. i juz sat at my place and continue to act as if it is none of my business.. but my heart is jumping fast.. so in end, the 4 of us (chuan, sihui, esther and me) went up together.. haha.. cheri cell gonna fu xin liao!! AMEN!! :)
anyway, i do not know exactly wat to share.. my mind was in a blank.. i wasn't prepared.. but 1 thing for sure is that i will not have nth to share, as there are really really too many things i need to give thanks for.. :) so i started off with after coming back from korea, the change in my life.. and see how god lead me back to the youth.. having good cell leader and cellmates.. and another thing i shared abt is my serving in china ministry.. i really do not know how come i will share abt tt.. but i guess is holy spirit prompting me to.. :) i also shared abt how cheri and my cellmates encouraged me not to give up.. and i quoted something which cheri told me.. "the harder it is, the greater the glory" Amen! i will nv forget this phrase.. :) thank god i went up to share! many people told me, my sharing was good.. :) thank god!
during prayer time, i went in front and kneel down to pray.. the injuries on my knees had not fully recovered after coming back from perak.. i do feel pain when i touch my knees.. but thank god i was able to kneel for quite a long time and i dun feel any pain.. :) i was feeling joyful throughout the whole prayer meet.. and i look forward to a joyful 2008! :p
supposed to go to aaron's house to countdown after prayer meet, but we cant get there in time.. so on our way there, sihui and i called cheri.. since she 千交代，万交代, we MUST CALL her to countdown with her.. haha.. anyway, did nth much there.. was watching tv, playing bridge.. at first i tot it was kind of boring.. i should have juz gone home and have a good sleep.. but remembering rev fucai sharing in the sunday brochure - "一切都是最好的安排！" i thank god i went, so i had a chance to have a short sharing with chuan.. which is wat we actually plan to do when we meet in the afternoon.. haha! and it is also something which i long to do (finding someone to tok to) :)
anyway after tt, they went to mac for breakfast, but i did not go with them as i juz ate yesterday morning.. so i walk all the way from braddell to toa payoh interchange.. i do feel a bit tired and sleepy.. but while walking, i juz look around the surroundings, and many thanksgiving juz came to my mind.. i thank god for the things tt he created, thank god that i'm still able to walk.. thank god for many things.. :) i felt joyful! i also wanna thank god for teaching me to give thanks for anything and everything! :p
Happy birthday Shumin (my beatty junior cum cellmate)!! :p
Happy 2008 to all.. :)
we had twm gathering at 4pm yesterday.. learn abt wat the banners that the dancers used stand for.. it's a good learning time.. :) we had a prayer time after tt.. was feeling not very good at first.. i cried.. continued to pray n pray.. and towards the end, dancer sarah pass me the banner tt represents joy! it is something i guess i really need and want! :)
continue staying in church for the countdown prayer meet.. finally got a breakthrough in my life! my FIRST TIME going up stage to share in front of many people! (it's an add on to my "first times" in december.. :) ) when rev fucai gave chances for people to go up to share, my mum turned around and look at me, chuan oso ask me to go up.. but i juz dun have the courage.. i juz sat at my place and continue to act as if it is none of my business.. but my heart is jumping fast.. so in end, the 4 of us (chuan, sihui, esther and me) went up together.. haha.. cheri cell gonna fu xin liao!! AMEN!! :)
anyway, i do not know exactly wat to share.. my mind was in a blank.. i wasn't prepared.. but 1 thing for sure is that i will not have nth to share, as there are really really too many things i need to give thanks for.. :) so i started off with after coming back from korea, the change in my life.. and see how god lead me back to the youth.. having good cell leader and cellmates.. and another thing i shared abt is my serving in china ministry.. i really do not know how come i will share abt tt.. but i guess is holy spirit prompting me to.. :) i also shared abt how cheri and my cellmates encouraged me not to give up.. and i quoted something which cheri told me.. "the harder it is, the greater the glory" Amen! i will nv forget this phrase.. :) thank god i went up to share! many people told me, my sharing was good.. :) thank god!
during prayer time, i went in front and kneel down to pray.. the injuries on my knees had not fully recovered after coming back from perak.. i do feel pain when i touch my knees.. but thank god i was able to kneel for quite a long time and i dun feel any pain.. :) i was feeling joyful throughout the whole prayer meet.. and i look forward to a joyful 2008! :p
supposed to go to aaron's house to countdown after prayer meet, but we cant get there in time.. so on our way there, sihui and i called cheri.. since she 千交代，万交代, we MUST CALL her to countdown with her.. haha.. anyway, did nth much there.. was watching tv, playing bridge.. at first i tot it was kind of boring.. i should have juz gone home and have a good sleep.. but remembering rev fucai sharing in the sunday brochure - "一切都是最好的安排！" i thank god i went, so i had a chance to have a short sharing with chuan.. which is wat we actually plan to do when we meet in the afternoon.. haha! and it is also something which i long to do (finding someone to tok to) :)
anyway after tt, they went to mac for breakfast, but i did not go with them as i juz ate yesterday morning.. so i walk all the way from braddell to toa payoh interchange.. i do feel a bit tired and sleepy.. but while walking, i juz look around the surroundings, and many thanksgiving juz came to my mind.. i thank god for the things tt he created, thank god that i'm still able to walk.. thank god for many things.. :) i felt joyful! i also wanna thank god for teaching me to give thanks for anything and everything! :p
Happy birthday Shumin (my beatty junior cum cellmate)!! :p
Happy 2008 to all.. :)
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