this year is really a different year for me.. many things changed.. especially after i came back from the korea trip (fang han shen hui) in july.. my spiritual life changes.. my attitude towards god changes.. my passion in serving changes.. my enthusiasm towards church activities changes.. many, many, many things had changed.. and i believe they are still changing.. thank god that i'm changing for the better and not the worst..
thank god i went to fang han shen hui this year.. i remember that sis joann asked me what makes me wanna go for fang han this year, and what is my purpose of going there.. i told her i dunno, but juz feel like going.. she told me that god will have his reason/purpose for me to go, juz continue to pray and seek him.. indeed, from the trip, i received quite a lot.. and things are really different after the trip.. :D
there is one thing i've always been praying and seeking.. that is my serving in drums.. i have never really gone thru proper learning and training.. even though my dad is a very good drummer/teacher.. people always have the misconception that since my dad is so good, my drum skills definitely taught by him.. but no no no.. u're all wrong!! the fact is, i picked up my drum skills by observing my dad when he is teaching, watch and listen to others play, and try to remember how they play, then try out when no one at home.. haha! that's why, i'm not a good drummer.. :)
anyway, back to fang han.. when we were at dao gao shan.. i did not receive anything till the last night.. we had a time for praying, and pastor biyun came and prayed for me.. when she was praying for me, the first thing she said gave me a shock! it was like god talking to me.. she said that i need to let go and let god.. and it was something i received during one of the prayer meetings before the korea trip.. and through her prayers, i really feel that god is speaking to me.. she kept telling me that i need to let go, and not use my logical thinking to think of wat god is trying to do, juz tell him what i want, and let holy spirit do the work.. when i'm willing to let go and let god, i was filled by holy spirit.. my hands and legs started to shake.. i seem to be like playing drums.. :) from tt night onwards, things started to change! it's like a turning point of my life! there are many things to share about the trip.. if you wanna know more, approach me and i'll tell u more.. haha! :)
i went back to youth ministry.. joined cell group.. joined the youths for jamming.. i had a wonderful cell leader, wonderful cell mates, and wonderful fellow youths.. i'm glad to be part of them.. they are really fun! i enjoyed my time spent with them.. my life started to have more laughters, more joy, more activities, and becoming more fulfilling and more meaningful.. :) i thought i will have a hard them to click with them.. thank god! everything turned out well! we get along well! :) god is really good.. he knows exactly what i need and when i need.. he put many pple by my side when i needed them most.. there was a time, i was very discouraged and felt like giving up my serving in drums.. my confidence level drop to lowest.. or i should say i totally got no confidence to play drum anymore.. but thank god, i had my cell leader and cell mates by my side to encourage me and helped me see things from different perceptions, therefore i managed to hang on and continue to strive for the lord.. :)
god really listens.. ever since i started to serve in drums, i had always been praying and seeking for improvements and breakthrough.. he had never fail to give me opportunities to serve and make improvements.. he had given me many, many, many opportunities.. and in this last month of 2007, he had given me even more opportunities, and had given me many "first times".. i had my first time serving in baptism services for sunday service and china ministry service.. first time serving in 2040 service.. first time serving 3 days in a row.. first time playing drum for a xmas rally in public area.. first time attending twm retreat.. first time joining the youths for an overseas trip.. first time helping out in church christmas carnival..
the month of december is a busy but fulfilling month for me!! there are many, many other more things that happen this year.. i'm really, really glad that god changed my life.. he had not forsaken me.. even though i'm juz a bench warmer for many years, a back slider for a long period of time.. i truly believe that god has his own timing for everthing.. he has a reason for things that happen.. he is always in control! no matter where we are, what we do, he is always looking after us!! :) the time of changing for me has come.. i pray that god will continue to change me to become better.. and i will have clear directions from him.. i wanna find my destiny!! :p
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